Get out there
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#3: haha. good one. i would soo do that if this happened to me.
eHarmony? That will never get you laid.
It does take a long time. Not because you're hopeless, love. Just because the internet is full of desperate, ugly, wholly undateable men, and it takes a looooooooong time and a hell of a lot of sifting through the creepsters, outright perverts, 40-year-olds who live in their parents' basements, and men who type messages like "how u doin babe i wanna get wit ur a$$ tonite" until you find someone even worth sending an email back to, never mind meeting in person. If your cousins know anything at all about internet dating, they know this and they know that the longer period is necessary. Just be happy they were generous? And good luck. :)
eHarmony is expensive as shit, be happy you dont have to pay for it.
Hey, at least you're not the one paying for it. And who knows, maybe some good will come of it.
Keywords
Oh dude, what a bitch. Well you should sign THEM up for some **** site.
um, wow that's really unfortunate? on the bright side maybe you'll finally find your special someone =) first :D