Weird, Creepy and Intimacy: Great conversation starter - FML

Great conversation starter

By balkangirl94 - 23/12/2011 07:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 487

You deserved it 3 736

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

You're weird, dude

By Grossed out - 21/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 90

By fme - 27/01/2018 15:00

Spicy

Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 839

You deserved it 360

Weirdo

By whateven333 - 18/02/2015 04:02 - United States - Gibsonia

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 917

You deserved it 2 685

Freaked out

By anon - 07/02/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 137

Comeback

By Pinsky - 20/09/2021 01:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I walked in on the guy I called a cuck in high school going down on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 1 945

Inappropriate

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 19:39 - Ireland - Mountmellick

Spicy

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 649

You deserved it 3 254

Keeping it in the family

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 15:01 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my dad tried to hook me up with someone. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 85

Pants on fire

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 100

By Thai that on for size - 25/09/2015 19:56 - New Zealand - Silverdale

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 432

You deserved it 2 679

By paintfarts1976 - 10/05/2013 19:01 - Ireland - Mullingar

Spicy

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 189

You deserved it 4 259

Next

Top comments

StoryOfTheYear 14

Friday 23 December 2011 12:02

"Well...only of you incest."

StoryOfTheYear 14

Friday 23 December 2011 12:11

Sigh... If you*

Comments

Chaosaiyan 6

Monday 26 December 2011 22:45

At least you know he's a family man...

sxdryv 14

Tuesday 27 December 2011 22:11

Curious what made it seductive in your mind?

dansco 24

Wednesday 28 December 2011 8:41

Brothers eh, funny people lol

Soul5tealer 0

Thursday 29 December 2011 7:41

.......I am so sorry.......... I can't beleive that happened to you.....

Ajwuvsu 2

Friday 30 December 2011 16:32

Lol a guy was trying to hit on me at a bar. He told me i looked just like his sister then followed with "you know what they say...incest is the best". wow

giraffe_fan_14 6

Saturday 31 December 2011 5:48

Looks like somebody spent too much time in the attic...

saphire512 3

Thursday 5 January 2012 11:28

I really don't think I have a song for this one... I think we're alone now Tiffany?

bubbles42597 0

Friday 6 January 2012 4:21

Was it your brother?

ItsBreezyOutside 3

Monday 9 January 2012 6:46

He was from Mississippi wasn't he?

BRBsummer 9

Monday 9 January 2012 7:36

Ew.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I saw the woman I asked out last month in a relationship with another guy. She rejected me because she “wanted to focus on herself.” I texted her and asked why she had lied to me. She responded with, “Okay, you caught me. But can you blame me? I’m not attracted to butt ugly Martian-looking men.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 635

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 782

The Top

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 427

You deserved it 3 633

Today, at my daughter's wedding celebration, I was doing a Michael Jackson act with a few buddies. It went well until I did the crotch-grab. I yanked my balls too hard and fell to the floor, writhing in agony in front of nearly 70 guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 087

You deserved it 26 617

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 570

You deserved it 4 230

Today, I accidentally sent my boss a meme about hating work. Her reply? "Same." FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 380

Today, my parents forced me to write a thank you letter to my uncle who passed away a week after Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 211

You deserved it 1 309

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 533

You deserved it 4 120