Weird, Creepy and Intimacy: Great conversation starter - FML

Great conversation starter

By balkangirl94 - 23/12/2011 07:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 487

You deserved it 3 736

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

You're weird, dude

By Grossed out - 21/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 89

By fme - 27/01/2018 15:00

Spicy

Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 839

You deserved it 360

Weirdo

By whateven333 - 18/02/2015 04:02 - United States - Gibsonia

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 917

You deserved it 2 685

Freaked out

By anon - 07/02/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 137

Comeback

By Pinsky - 20/09/2021 01:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I walked in on the guy I called a cuck in high school going down on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 1 945

Inappropriate

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 19:39 - Ireland - Mountmellick

Spicy

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 649

You deserved it 3 254

Keeping it in the family

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 15:01 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my dad tried to hook me up with someone. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 85

Pants on fire

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 100

By Thai that on for size - 25/09/2015 19:56 - New Zealand - Silverdale

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 432

You deserved it 2 679

By paintfarts1976 - 10/05/2013 19:01 - Ireland - Mullingar

Spicy

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 189

You deserved it 4 259

Next

Top comments

StoryOfTheYear 14

Friday 23 December 2011 12:02

"Well...only of you incest."

StoryOfTheYear 14

Friday 23 December 2011 12:11

Sigh... If you*

Comments

jdev234 3

Wednesday 5 September 2012 18:59

Was it your brother?

missababgaga 19

Friday 2 November 2012 18:53

Maybe he was talking about "Game of Thrones"

tewa21 12

Sunday 21 April 2013 2:14

I dont no how but this is the funniest thing ive heard all day. I need a life.

Alastor13X 8

Thursday 27 March 2014 22:09

Maybe he has watched Joe Dirt one too many times... None the less, I have no idea where a lot of guys get these pick up lines... "Hey... What if I told you that since we came from the same womb, or the womb of the same bloodlines, that I could make you see heaven?" -I'M YOUR SISTER! I'M YOUR SISTER! -YOU'RE MY SISTER!!!

quickit 24

Thursday 11 December 2014 16:56

Something the whole family can enjoy!

devinthomas 15

Thursday 22 January 2015 20:13

Probably southerner

miriamfrank 22

Friday 3 July 2015 0:09

Was he related to you?

memestasquaper 10

Tuesday 12 July 2016 19:52

Lel Florida

Keywords

AITA Awkward First Dates Love Dogs Animals Cute Am I overreacting? Alcohol Food Health Relatable Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous Transportation Cars Sex Intimacy Contraception Cheating Suspicious Poopoo peepee Kids Gross Accident Gifts Birthday

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 670

You deserved it 4 364

Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 122

The Top

Today, I was trying to entertain my crush at a party by showing off my juggling skills. I confidently grabbed three random objects, not realizing one was a jar of pickles. Mid-juggle, the jar slipped and shattered, splashing pickle juice all over my crush. She just stared at me in disbelief, while I stood there smelling like vinegar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 711

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 507

You deserved it 3 722

Today, I was showing my mum how to use eBay. Unfortunately I didn't notice my recent purchase history was on display: a huge black dildo, a jockstrap, and a bong amongst them. Of course, she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 1 492

Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 561

You deserved it 3 200

Today, my junkie son came to the house showered, in clean clothes, with sobriety chips from NA, full of apologies, and we had a good cry about his recovery. I went to the kitchen for tissues, for less than a minute, but when I got back he’d stolen my purse, television, and spare change jar with about £75 in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 168

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 133

You deserved it 19 244