Health, Dogs and Animals: Instant cure - FML

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 579

You deserved it 4 949

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Same thing different taste

You played yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 104

You deserved it 49 219

Second class citizen

By crapped on - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 561

You deserved it 4 261

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 670

You deserved it 9 996

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 862

You deserved it 30 067

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:01 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 249

You deserved it 1 256

Hands off parenting

By iloveyoutoomom - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 610

You deserved it 3 581

A tad overbearing

By nehadrihan - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Oceanside

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 808

You deserved it 3 456

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 117

You deserved it 2 484

By uninvited - 04/02/2016 15:16 - United States - Boston

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 261

You deserved it 1 749

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 983

You deserved it 46 607

Next

Top comments

eviiee_fml 3

Monday 26 July 2010 9:02

this is a fml for the dog not you. poor puppy :(

ActionManly 11

Monday 26 July 2010 9:03

What a CAT-astrophe! Wait, wrong pun...

Comments

megamandude455 10

Monday 26 July 2010 15:48

<=(((

SouthSideGummi 0

Monday 26 July 2010 16:50

that's hilariously sad

ianzzz 0

Monday 26 July 2010 16:57

OMG LMFAO!!!!!! hahahahaha that is so ****** funny!

rawrineedcandy 0

Monday 26 July 2010 17:05

aww poor puppy

WtfLoser 13

Monday 26 July 2010 17:16

k ; well, at least your dad cares. & yes, poor puppy. But hey. Chin up.

Mumbellosity711 0

Monday 26 July 2010 17:29

ugh...this is why you don't eat a banana split while driving.

Bartimaeus 7

Monday 26 July 2010 17:30

That sucks FYL

PussPussOmega 0

Monday 26 July 2010 17:50

all u people r saying it's the drivers fault. wat about the stupid ******* puppy that decide to go into the street, dogs r so ******* stupid. he brought this apon himself

immaprincessmadd 0

Monday 26 July 2010 17:53

:( poor little baby puppy ):

misty4555 0

Monday 26 July 2010 18:07

poor puppy

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Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Smells Love Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Ironic Intimacy Abuse Drunk AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I was having dinner at a restaurant with my best friend and her 18-month-old. I really had to fart, so I let one go silently, hoping it would go unnoticed. I caught a whiff of it, but so did my friend apparently, because she made a face and then held up her baby to smell her diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 542

You deserved it 1 376

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 250 851

The Top

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 203

You deserved it 3 074

Today, I learned that my girlfriend takes creepshots of me sleeping, and my mom likes them on her Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 125

You deserved it 2 159

Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 981

You deserved it 7 453

Today, while fasting for a medical test, my blood sugar became so low that I had heart palpitations and passed out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 267

You deserved it 2 871

Today, I got my lady bits waxed for my man with a little heart-shaped landing strip. Later, as he removed my panties, he crinkled his nose and stated, "It looks like Donald Trump." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 355

You deserved it 1 097

Today, my husband told me that he can't find his passport. We're supposed to be leaving for Prague in two days. He's known about the trip for months. It was the anniversary vacation that was going to help our frayed relationship. Now my money is going to a hotel in Prague, but I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 805

You deserved it 4 318