Health, Dogs and Animals: Instant cure - FML

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 579

You deserved it 4 949

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Same thing different taste

You played yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 104

You deserved it 49 219

Second class citizen

By crapped on - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 561

You deserved it 4 261

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 670

You deserved it 9 996

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 862

You deserved it 30 067

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:01 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 249

You deserved it 1 256

Hands off parenting

By iloveyoutoomom - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 610

You deserved it 3 581

A tad overbearing

By nehadrihan - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Oceanside

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 808

You deserved it 3 456

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 117

You deserved it 2 484

By uninvited - 04/02/2016 15:16 - United States - Boston

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 261

You deserved it 1 749

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 983

You deserved it 46 607

Next

Top comments

eviiee_fml 3

Monday 26 July 2010 9:02

this is a fml for the dog not you. poor puppy :(

ActionManly 11

Monday 26 July 2010 9:03

What a CAT-astrophe! Wait, wrong pun...

Comments

AyNeehkuhl_ 0

Monday 26 July 2010 12:44

oh poor puppy D; && you too for seeing that.

Tempuser117 2

Monday 26 July 2010 14:12

This made me smile... I don't know why, maybe I'm evil. But just the way it's worded amused me. Sorry you're feeling sick OP, but at least you're not the puppy...

elowyn4life 0

Monday 26 July 2010 14:16

wow that's so horrible. totally unfair for puppy and you.

joeinthedark 18

Monday 26 July 2010 14:35

I would think the Ice Cream and dead puppy would cancel each other out so really, you're no worse off than before the ice cream, except now you have ice cream.

ThisLifeHatesMe 0

Monday 26 July 2010 14:42

thats quite laughable xD tbh

salooty 0

Monday 26 July 2010 14:59

ur dad killed an innocent animal !!!

Hanouchka 0

Monday 26 July 2010 15:07

You have a good Papa, you should count yourself lucky. He's a nice man et loves you.

cattack 0

Monday 26 July 2010 15:15

I'm gonna pull the BS card on this. Besides, if you were sick, why would your dad take you for ice cream?

biker639 3

Monday 26 July 2010 15:17

lol

fylkman 0

Monday 26 July 2010 15:22

13 how da hell does op deserve it u stupid bitch. U cant rly control a thing lik gettin sick

sillyollie 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 0:25

But you can prevent it.

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Keywords

Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Animals Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Anniversary Boredom Intimacy Abuse Ironic AITA Alcohol Am I overreacting? Transportation Drunk Kids Parents Gun control

The Top

Today, at a supermarket, I ran into a girl I knew in high school. She had two kids with her and they were buying school supplies. My cart was full of beer and snacks. After a chat, she left, not before saying, "I hope things get better for you." I have a job and a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 266

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said, "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green…" I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with, "…ya know, like a dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 006

You deserved it 5 866

The Top

Today, the officers of my archery club forgot to check if anybody was behind the targets looking for arrows. I got hit in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 654

You deserved it 2 010

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 970

You deserved it 4 373

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 577

You deserved it 4 588

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 124

You deserved it 1 976

Today, I tracked down my birth dad. He lives in a massive house, with a wife and two kids, 3 cars and a fucking sailboat on the drive. My mom and I grew up in poverty, but I was calm when I confronted him. He had his gardeners throw me into the street like I was inconvenient trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 278

Today, after waiting two days for my ADD med because of "insurance issues", I was told it's out-of-stock. I have one pill left, and the pharmacy isn't open on the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 174