Depression, Sextoys and Intimacy: It's the thought that counts, right? - FML

It's the thought that counts, right?

By kdmoney - 23/09/2011 06:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 301

You deserved it 7 562

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Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 650

You deserved it 10 420

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Spicy

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 177

You deserved it 575

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 187

You deserved it 2 060

By Ab - 10/02/2009 01:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 321

You deserved it 42 804

By wet dreams - 12/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Cartersville

Spicy

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 987

You deserved it 4 570

By Anonymous - 28/04/2015 16:58 - United Kingdom - Exminster

Spicy

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 807

You deserved it 4 442

By Noname - 13/03/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 304

You deserved it 5 341

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 05:57 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 314

You deserved it 15 556

By ToysforHire - 22/09/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 536

You deserved it 7 838

Kinda cute

By anon - 09/09/2013 15:15 - United States - Mantua

Spicy

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. - Mom and Dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 408

You deserved it 26 009

Next

Top comments

chell1894 13

Friday 23 September 2011 12:15

I like it!

saIty 17

Friday 23 September 2011 12:19

Just stick a picture of him on your little friend. Use it well young Jedi.

Comments

Bladian 5

Friday 23 September 2011 19:44

You're in the same state as him. Get over it. I'm from SoCal and go to school in New York. My gf still lives in SoCal. You'll be fine.

no_namer386 5

Friday 23 September 2011 19:47

can I meet your mom?

cacb90 5

Friday 23 September 2011 20:16

She came up with a good solution. She's your mom and knows you the most.

Zaffro 8

Friday 23 September 2011 20:18

Oh come on OP a lot of women would kill for a mum that is easy going like that! Some kids on here arent even allowed out of the house after 10pm if you believe half of the posts. Besides orgasms release endorphins, dopamine and serotonin (part of the reason why love is actually a chemical reaction but I wont go into that) those three lovely little chemicals will make you feel a lot better!

Cowgirl03 7

Friday 23 September 2011 20:22

GO CSU FRESNO!

perdix 29

Friday 23 September 2011 20:28

Appendix to #41: Speaking of deep depression, I'm in a blue funk because no one has mentioned my use of "buzz-kill" vis à vis the vibrator. I liked it ;(

oops_im_fucked 8

Friday 23 September 2011 20:37

Thanks mom!

mad_mav_lax 4

Friday 23 September 2011 21:13

She's got that motherly instinct ;)

Drizzt127 0

Friday 23 September 2011 21:30

That's epic!!!!

Dcm210 19

Friday 23 September 2011 21:31

an ****** puts a smile on my face,then I got back to sleep.

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The Top

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 123

You deserved it 44 804

The Top

Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No. Mugged? Don't think so. My roommate threw them away after he got water on them, thinking that it rendered them unusable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 500

You deserved it 2 605

Today, my mom was out of the house, so I decided to make her a gift. I went into the garage for supplies and somehow ended up locking myself in for the next 2 hours. Not only that, but I cut my hand with the rusty paperclip I used to try to pick the lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 559

You deserved it 1 654

Today, my boss dropped a highly important and dense report on my desk that had to be finished by the end of the day. After the initial panic attack and hours of scrupulous work, I finished. She then asked me to pick up the revised copy, where my name was replaced with hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 739

You deserved it 1 439

Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 463

You deserved it 3 325

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 050

You deserved it 49 651

Today, I was walking to my car when I saw a large man walking behind me. I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, but the door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. I then realized that it wasn't even my car. As I walked away from it, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 135

You deserved it 48 806