Intimacy: Kinky

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 183

You deserved it 12 019

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Same thing different taste

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 183

You deserved it 4 857

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 505

You deserved it 36 983

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 437

You deserved it 8 902

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 564

You deserved it 35 861

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 7 467

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 783

You deserved it 4 769

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 636

You deserved it 15 439

Break time

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 395

You deserved it 5 001

Hangry for that Mickey D's

By anonymous - 23/07/2021 07:59

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 173

Spencer_CDS 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 9:08

Might want to be a bit more specific next time. Lol.

Dillybar 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 9:11

Should've asked him to eat you out if he was so hungry...

Comments

theshinepolice 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 15:33

sammich?

serpicosghost 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 15:48

I woulda told you to go make the sammich for me

kyle_kbo20 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 16:47

i rather have a sandwich then you

Ridyn 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 17:01

Maybe you should have showered first? your pussy must have been that nasty he didn't wanna eat that

smartornot 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 17:21

The OP says he's a guy. If a guy has a boyfriend, he is gay. Therefore, YDI for being a fag.

jonny2x4 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 17:26

Hey, sex is hungry work, even for homos

quadracer111 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 17:49

I dont think its 2 men. Why the **** would 2 guys need a condom to butt ****? Unless one has an std i guess? Burning asshole disease ;)-

spongebobrocks 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 17:56

What is it with everyone asking why two guys need a condom?

tre3s 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 17:57

lmao that sounds like something my boyfriend would do. i think it's hilarious.

jhon316 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 18:24

haha r u gay cause y woul d u geta codom cause its not like ur getting pregnant ur a dude realy whatch what u put as gender if ur a girl

kristinmarie178 2

Monday 12 September 2011 6:33

Bad word choice there for this context

nanner6206 24

Monday 6 June 2016 21:50

Idiot.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 370

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 507

You deserved it 15 067

The Top

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 841

You deserved it 4 387

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 673

You deserved it 2 023

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 189

You deserved it 5 304

Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 382

You deserved it 80 479

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 094

You deserved it 9 349

Today, my two moms were telling some fairly obscene jokes about their sex life. When I told them to stop making such vulgar jokes, they turned to me and said, "What makes you think we were joking?" They then clarified that they were in fact being completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 874

You deserved it 3 259