Leave Me Alone

By gordogs 25 - 04/04/2012 10:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy
Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 124
You deserved it 13 042
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

DocBastard 38

So your ex is hotter than your wife. So what? Enjoy your dreams, and then you can wake up and enjoy your wife. You win twice!

206 39

Comments

braunerzucker58 10

How can you be having wet dreams on your honeymoon? Surely you must've had sex with your wife by now.

14 5
Googoo27 12

You can still have wet dreams after sex :P

1 1
Googoo27 12

Also, even though you don't usually get wet dreams with sex, but maybe OP hasn't gotten any sex in a while. Just a guess.

1 2
raney150 0

If op is on his honeymoon, why would he not have had sex in a while?

2 1
loserman67 35

Well, obviously your ex-girlfriend is your ex because someone else became your wife. Tread very lightly here, next thing you know, you're screaming the ex's name as you drill balls deep into your new wife. This other woman obviously gave you things in bed that either your new wife will not provide or you have too much respect to ask her to perform. Either way, you need to concentrated on your wife, make her the center of your every waking moment (without smothering her) and get this other woman off your mind. Or spend the rest of your life having mundane sex with your wife and hiding your secret obsession and jacking off into a towel in your home, or constantly explaining to your wife why you cannot get it up because you blow your baby batter into the sheets everynight. $300 dollars please. Good luck!

23 5
DocBastard 38

your* That's right, if redrum123 is going to make a dumbass comment, he may as well misspell "you're" while he's at it.

23 3
Birdie_Sage 0

The correction was good enough, no need to bore the readers.

0 6
ohmandapants 16

Yes 37, because clearly we can all control what we dream about. OP, the idiot, is doing it on purpose.

2 1
DocBastard 38

Birdie_Sage and carlistar27 - reread my comment VERY carefully. I "corrected" him to the incorrect form of "your", because his comment is so very stupid and the incorrect "your" would have been appropriately stupid. Get it now? Still no? Well, thanks anyway for making me explain the joke, thereby ruining it.

15 5
Birdie_Sage 0

Nooooo, it's definitely *yurr I corrected you all!!!! Woohoo!!!

0 7
TwoZeroOZ 2

Doesn't mean anything. Could just have some mild commitment issues and your mind's messing with you.

7 3
ohmandapants 16

^ no. She's his EX for a reason and he married his wife for a reason. It's not all about looks.

46 4
Birdie_Sage 0

Wow, your lucky to even remember your dreams... 99% of the time I don't even dream at all. How do you dream in your sleep??? ;(

0 13
hqbrat 8

You have to be really tired when you sleep so you can dream

0 3
kimmi41509 10

How do you dream in your sleep? Well that's the whole concept of dreaming, Einstein.

2 0
titzenpitzer 9

I hope your wife doesn't read FML. And aren't wet dreams things that 13year olds have? It's been a while since I came without ...well...you know

4 6
immaMonsta 8

#49 Although it it more common for 13 year olds to have wet dreams, it's possible for anyone at any age to have them. Shit happens.

4 2
br0ccoli 14

No, Noor it's not weird. My brother plays that game. I walked by and thought Ezio was such a fox. His olive complexion is beautiful. *sigh* I'm not ogling your hubby, I'm just saying :)

11 0