Many such cases

By Idiot says "HIPAA violation" - 27/06/2015 01:21 - United States - Roanoke

Spicy
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML
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Top comments

SuperWhoMarvLock 22

I think lying about it is way worse than owning up to it. It just makes you look stupider than you already look.

444 8

Comments

skyeyez9 24

There was an episode on Scrubs with this type of scenario. Everybody had odd excuses and one guy was honest and said "I was bored."

76 4
Anony2014 10

I wish I had seen that Scrubs episode. I've only seen the SNL skit with the repeat patient getting various objects stuck in his rectum.

8 4
rabbi1010 29

This is exact reason I stopped buying cucumbers.

24 2
ADBurns 22

Does that constitute as one of their 5 a day?

49 1
rockyhorrorQT 12

According to Quagmire, anal insertion counts: Quagmire: Aah, carrots. Sometimes I grind them up in the juice or just eat 'em raw. Or insert them anally. As long as I get 'em into my body somehow.

22 1
soactually 4

"I was halfway through a salad recipe and accidentally switched over to suppository directions"

77 3
MmmPinkTacos 11

Well obviously it was an accident, you don't need a condom for your butt just lube

3 30
PePziNL 20

And guess what's on most condoms?

14 1
Matheo_fml 21

Putting foreign objects into your anus - even if you washed them carefully beforehand - you should put a condom on. You never know what pesticides they used on the groceries...

3 1
DocBastard 38

At least my patient actually had the balls to admit what he did. Then again, he also had the balls to fill a Coke bottle with water, put a condom on it, and then lose it in his rectum.

111 3
RedPillSucks 31

well. he wasn't drinking it, so he's ok.

16 2
sicksadworld1317 30

So after all that forward thinking prep work, your patient still didn't have the sense to at least tie a string around the bottle for removal? I would have face palmed, after a change of gloves and much scrubbing, of course.

3 8
sturschaedel 27

At least he didn't send a bottle of Jack after it to see if it arrived ok.

7 3
katydid91 31

Was he trying to give himself some type of enema?

1 4
lavieestbelle_fml 11

One time a guy had an operation to get a mobile phone removed from his rectum (he also used the 'slipped and fell' excuse). the phone rang three times during the operation...

54 2
RedPillSucks 31

nah, it should have been on vibrate

26 0
lexwilder 16

I'm imagining him trying to explain why he missed that call. Also wondering what carrier has that strong of signal...

31 1
Mynamewontfi 40

I'm just hoping his ringtone was "What, what, in the butt".

36 2
NostalgiaFreak9 41

Did he happen to have the phone on vibrate?

8 1
ArmyVet1 16

I am in tears from laughing so hard picturing that cell phone ringing!!! Muy father in law in an Anesthesiologist and he's told me some crazy stories. I'm gonna ask him if something like this has happened while he was in the O.R. :)

0 0
sturschaedel 27

If it was him, and if he had given a location, it would probably have been something creative, like North Korea or South Sudan or something.

7 2