I'm often late because of this. maybe OP is onto something

"The best part of waking up, is jacking into a cup." No morning coffee for you huh? Tugging on the old joy stick, making a mess out of the sheets, then going into the bathroom and facing your shame in the mirror. "Oh what a beautiflu morning."

I haven't dated anyone for a year and I like it that way. Don't feel bad man Ur just doing what everyone does. They need to make a "single guys" song... But I guess that would be weird huh?

Are you a dude or girl?

Nothing wrong with that man. Relieves stress and you can always work on your love life.

That's just awesome

Dude...everyone masturbates...it's not just cuz you're single.

Nothing wrong with a bomb ass fap session to wake your ass up.

$50 and two condoms on the right street corner will solve your problems.

I ********** while I am sleep