Intimacy: Multitasking

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 21:28 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 250

You deserved it 6 807

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By USSEYL - 26/11/2008 04:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 091

You deserved it 27 485

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 577

You deserved it 12 446

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 761

Mission successful

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 923

You deserved it 299

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 2 146

By Gassy - 14/12/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 337

You deserved it 10 935

Great handle!

By I'll Make You FartCum - 02/01/2015 21:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 454

You deserved it 9 133

By Haley. - 26/03/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 301

You deserved it 6 537

By LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 790

You deserved it 5 743

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 558

You deserved it 1 618

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 14 November 2012 23:43

Just don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure she's humiliated enough as it is.

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 14 November 2012 23:45

She blew you alright.

Comments

rott3n 6

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:41

That stinks.

sarahblayke 10

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:41

Maybe she was to relaxed and comfy poor girl i bet she real embrasses

sweetmama88 6

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:42

She was probably very nervous .

banta98 5

Thursday 15 November 2012 1:44

Oh well better luck next time

doglover100 28

Thursday 15 November 2012 2:03

It's not that big of a deal.

Skepticaalx 11

Thursday 15 November 2012 2:23

Agreed, everyone farts it really isn't a big deal, if she shat on your face then I'd say it's an fml..

wvcheesehead 13

Thursday 15 November 2012 2:24

At least you did not have a cigarette.

tigerlover39 9

Thursday 15 November 2012 2:33

What's 69

vbmg152 18

Thursday 15 November 2012 3:24

A number!

BellaBelle_fml 23

Thursday 15 November 2012 9:57

If you have to ask what 69 is you're probably too young, and as your profile says, "You don't need to know anything."

Joey_Crack88 5

Saturday 17 November 2012 7:30

Take your young ass to your room, put on your onsie footsie pajamas, put a pacifier in your mouth and, in the words of Samuel L. Jackson, "Go The F*ck Ro Sleep"

Justin0481 5

Thursday 15 November 2012 2:42

Man up, loser. Wait until she queefs after you get done with good doggy style. I hate to know how bad she feels now. Ungrateful ass, just be happy you got a girl thats willing to let you do those things.

daminantion 14

Thursday 15 November 2012 4:19

Easy there G.I. Joe, not everyone is a sex god their first try. Don't get too 'butthurt' when I make a seamen joke... Nah but honestly. Queefs aren't bad, it's simply air that was pushed in, whereas a fart is methane and post-digested nitrogen.. Queefs don't smell unless you're using a scented condom.