Miscellaneous, Drunk, Motherhood and Parents: Mum

Mum

By mummer11 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 421

You deserved it 3 199

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Same thing different taste

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 14:00

Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 139

By mirrorfad - 29/01/2010 05:49 - France

Today, my mum got upset with me for getting my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 548

You deserved it 3 255

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 123

By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 161

You deserved it 1 322

By DrunkenMum - 20/07/2019 12:00

Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 07/11/2014 08:03 - Australia

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 744

You deserved it 3 763

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 915

You deserved it 4 879

By ouch - 12/07/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 166

You deserved it 4 761

Denial

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 174

You deserved it 3 218

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 665

You deserved it 128

ElricMustang 23

Friday 15 November 2013 23:05

Your mom really has some issues with your mom, huh?

DocBastard 38

Friday 15 November 2013 23:07

Mother: You're a goody two shoes! OP: Yes, mum. Mother: Your mum's a *****. OP: Right you are, mum.

Comments

Zebediabolical 39

Saturday 16 November 2013 4:30

Can I have her number?

asherm 15

Saturday 16 November 2013 4:50

Did she just come home from a wake?

qwertkinz 12

Saturday 16 November 2013 9:47

Plot twist: you're adopted and your mom really did f**ck your mom.

itsmegandoll 6

Saturday 16 November 2013 9:56

That's sure classy. :/

ashleyylove3 22

Saturday 16 November 2013 14:12

Well she definitely deserved that one

Jjan04 14

Saturday 16 November 2013 16:22

STOP. SAYING. MUM.

sanecatlady 13

Saturday 16 November 2013 18:21

And just what is wrong with saying "Mum"? You're a bigot. >:(

maryyymary 3

Saturday 16 November 2013 17:09

lmaoo drunk.moms are the best

sthrnbell 9

Saturday 16 November 2013 18:46

Wow..that sucks.looks like ur mom might have some issues.Sorry for her hurting you like that. It's not okay. I wish u the best.

Lexigurl4life 1

Sunday 17 November 2013 0:00

Well uh now we know how it moms feels

mrmozard 4

Sunday 17 November 2013 14:54

**** your mom and your life!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking back to my car after a long day of work. A large SUV had parked next to mine, so I jokingly said to my girlfriend, "What do you think they're compensating for?" That's when the couple behind us unlocked their vehicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 117

You deserved it 4 382

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate in the bed for the first time. Halfway through the session, she slowly leaned over to my ear, thinking she was going to say something dirty. Instead, she decided to let out a long burp because she thought it was "cute". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 231

The Top

Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 48 751

You deserved it 5 412

Today, I sent a photo of my flat to my mother to show her how tidy I’d made it. What I didn’t realise was that my lube and sex toys were also included in the photo of the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 2 574

Today, my sister told me about a website that explained why our stressed cat has been obsessively pulling out the fur on her legs. Interested, I asked for a link. Not just out of deep concern for the cat, but because I have the same problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 915

You deserved it 5 928

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 287

You deserved it 2 914

Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 641

Today, I confidently told a funny story during a holiday family dinner. Nobody laughed, except my younger cousin, who snorted so hard at the way I'd flopped into complete silence, he sprayed cranberry sauce across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 124

Mum

Same thing different taste

How very dare you?

Denial

Mommy dearest

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