Wanker and Intimacy: MY EARS! MY EARS!

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MY EARS! MY EARS!

By ashbeat - 01/01/2013 15:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 648

You deserved it 4 404

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Same thing different taste

By idontwanttoknow - 16/06/2013 11:37 - United States

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 131

You deserved it 6 923

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 821

You deserved it 12 095

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 443

You deserved it 2 731

Post-it time

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 18:00

Today, I share a room with a person who masturbates noisily every morning at 5 a.m. like clockwork. Only I can't really say anything, because she's literally deaf. I wish she could hear herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 198

By SleepyKirsty - 09/06/2009 13:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 782

You deserved it 5 722

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 068

You deserved it 910

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 704

You deserved it 4 399

I CAN HEAR YOU

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 14:02 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, as usual, my flatmate is so loud when talking face to face that my ears and head rattle. I can't say anything because how dare I suggest there's anything wrong with my roommate's hearing. Yet nobody else talks this loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 153

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 09/06/2015 20:52 - Ireland

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 719

You deserved it 2 841

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 809

You deserved it 4 927

ollie179 21

Tuesday 1 January 2013 19:31

Well at least he's not saying, "You like that? HUH? DO YA?" "NO! Please stop! AAAAHHHH!" That would be awkward.

heythere131630 9

Tuesday 1 January 2013 19:27

You live with Golem???

Comments

DanielleinDC 33

Tuesday 1 January 2013 21:46

Yep. Time to crank up the music. Maybe "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls.

Squirrel1256 15

Tuesday 1 January 2013 21:47

Would your roommate happen to be a Siamese Twin?

iMeowzAlot 8

Tuesday 1 January 2013 21:49

That girl I saw at Walmart

Obey_StudBoii 23

Tuesday 1 January 2013 21:56

Sounds like he needs to get out more.

Ronald87 7

Tuesday 1 January 2013 22:07

Maybe he was with somebody:) lol

mmilideo 0

Tuesday 1 January 2013 22:25

Someone lend this guy a hand

Catkam623 27

Tuesday 1 January 2013 22:35

The girl who flashed macklemore.

trulymickeyj 13

Tuesday 1 January 2013 22:59

That is so ****** weird. I would say "Please go o he bathroom..."

mbuck87 19

Wednesday 2 January 2013 5:55

I rather he jerked off in his own room surrounded by his own shit than if he jerked it in the shared bathroom

icanfititin 0

Tuesday 1 January 2013 23:02

If he's getting off on it that much, let him, and try it yourself for once.

BubbleGrunge 18

Tuesday 1 January 2013 23:24

Rosie!

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The Top

Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 440

Today, while at Six Flags my boyfriend won a huge stuffed animal for me. After a whole day of carrying it around, when he dropped me off he told me that he wants the stuffed animal back. He just didn't want to carry it around all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 787

You deserved it 3 691

The Top

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 870

You deserved it 5 563

Today, my mom has developed a new addiction: Watching Dr. Pimple Popper religiously. Also, she's suggested that maybe we should move to California so Dr. Lee could have a look at me. Yes, my skin problems are that bad. I don't need to be reminded of it, much less every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 104

Today, before setting off on my train journey I checked my booking. The (non-refundable) return date was a week later than I intended, and after buying a new ticket online, I was informed that I would be able to collect it in 2 hours. I leave in an hour. I'll have to pay three times to come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 561

You deserved it 12 910

Today, I went to bed, falling asleep quickly; however, my cat decided to show up and lay on top of me, making me so uncomfortably hot and sweaty that my body immediately woke me up so I wouldn't die of a heat stroke. It's fucking 1:00 AM. He NEVER sleeps with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 200

Today, my new roommate moved in. One of the first conversations we had began with her asking where I wanted her to put my menstrual cup, which I had absentmindedly left in the bathroom sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 826

You deserved it 2 335

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 425