Health: MY SHIT Do Not Eat!

MY SHIT Do Not Eat!

By you're shitting me - 27/05/2013 05:05 - Australia

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with four other people, with one fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 681

You deserved it 3 264

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Same thing different taste

Tis the season to be jolly

By littl3storm - 23/12/2020 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, at the ripe age of 20, I spent the early hours of my morning violently vomiting blood every time I got too warm. I then had the pleasure of shitting in a plastic container for a stool sample, due to said problem, after one and half hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 86

By shatMyself - 22/04/2013 19:10 - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 478

You deserved it 3 422

What is wrong with me?

By I can't anymore - 16/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my finally figuring out what the hell is wrong with my body has coincided with the local clinic closing for the weekend. I can't get referrals until they open again. Only three long, boring, miserable days and three long, agonizing, sleepless nights to go. And probably more even after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 86

The first step is admitting you have a problem: take away is bad for you.

By Tyr88 - 05/03/2017 02:00 - Australia - Blakehurst

Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 556

You deserved it 1 610

Asshole

By Anonymous - 30/04/2015 17:33 - United Kingdom - Limavady

Today, someone at work took my delicate medication out of the fridge to make room for their lunch. Now my medication has expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 730

You deserved it 2 888

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 17:32 - Japan - Yokohama

Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 833

You deserved it 4 508

By Disappointed Mom - 31/07/2016 20:31 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was supposed to be enjoying a long-anticipated, desperately needed, weekend away. Turns out those "little stomach twinges" were actually symptoms of appendicitis. I'm stuck in the hospital, alone, recovering from surgery, while my family is enjoying our non-refundable break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 677

You deserved it 1 037

Thanks for nothing

By Somebody - 19/08/2020 17:01

Today, my mother-in-law came over. Probably thinking that the needles in our fridge were steroids, and wanting to do the right thing, she took them to throw them away. I'm diabetic, and they were my insulin. I went into shock after she left and had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 158

Climate change

By BloodyHorror - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, the blood from some defrosted steak dripped under my fridge where I couldn't see it. One insanely hot day later, and my whole house smells like it has its period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 483

The doctor will see you… soon

By Anonymous - 09/06/2022 10:00

Today, I spent several hours sitting in the ER hyperventilating from pain and passing out, due to a herniated disc in my back. I had to watch at least 5 people go ahead of me, whose only complaints was that their stomach hurt or they felt nauseous. One of these people had a bag of snacks with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 166

lambda_fml 40

Monday 27 May 2013 13:55

Yet you managed to write four.

rivaraven 35

Monday 27 May 2013 15:49

#61, for the next 72 hours. I think the problem is not OP, but you and your ability to read.

Comments

finch01 18

Monday 27 May 2013 13:20

don't tell them way.tsunami in it. but write Ur name on it. lol

laughmaster 9

Monday 27 May 2013 13:20

That sucks OP, label it and maybe try to isolate it in the back so you and your roommates don't have to interact with it as much

processengineer 9

Monday 27 May 2013 13:22

these brownies are full corn..... actually pack a cooler with ice with towels on top

SlapAndTickle 20

Monday 27 May 2013 13:42

Since we are in the correcting mood 17, it's spelled diarrhea.

perdix 29

Monday 27 May 2013 13:43

Finally! The sequel to "Two Girls, One Cup!"

Maycontainnuts 17

Monday 27 May 2013 14:11

Put it in a sealed box and hope they don't look inside it.

VeganVampyre 26

Monday 27 May 2013 14:13

Sorry, 28, 17 was actually correct. Look it up.

perdix 29

Monday 27 May 2013 14:13

They instructed you to store a bio-hazard adjacent to other people's food?!?! You must have . . . *lowers sunglasses* shit doctors!

milanpatel 10

Monday 27 May 2013 14:18

Put it in a sealed box and hope they don't look inside it mine.

milanpatel 10

Monday 27 May 2013 14:22

They instructed you to store a bio-hazard adjacent to other people's food?!?!

perdix 29

Monday 27 May 2013 14:30

#40, your comment gave me déjà vu!

milanpatel 10

Monday 27 May 2013 14:31

Finally! The sequel to "Two Girls, One Cup!"

Chanti_fml 26

Monday 27 May 2013 14:31

Why copy-paste Perdixs comment?

Zomg_Okay 26

Monday 27 May 2013 14:35

If you were going to steal a comment, the very least you could have done is attempt to re-word it.

perdix 29

Monday 27 May 2013 15:16

#44, because they are brilliant and awesome!! EDIT: Oops! I forgot to log in to my other account.

perdix 29

Monday 27 May 2013 16:19

#46, what's worse is that his repeating of my comments are less unpopular than my originals!!!

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak… from the sewage line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 943

You deserved it 2 295

The Top

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 337

You deserved it 4 558

Today, I found out that because I, like many others, don't read the terms and conditions, I accidentally donated £200 to a charity because of a non-refundable payment on a volunteering trip. It's my parents' money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 039

You deserved it 3 160

Today, my housemate picked me up from the psychiatric ward, after I'd spent ten days there with a major depressive episode. She said that she thought it rather odd that I'd gotten so bad, since she'd replaced my antidepressants with homeopathic pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 100

Today, my abusive ex-boyfriend contacted me for the first time in almost 14 years, to apologize for how he treated me while we were still together. It brought back all the old memories that I thought I had finally overcome, and made me have such a bad panic attack that I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 149

Today, at work, I wanted to scare my best friend, who is also my coworker. Thinking that he was cleaning the women's bathroom, I snuck in and right when I was about to scare him, my store director came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 910

You deserved it 3 851

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 964

You deserved it 6 739

Same thing different taste

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