Health: MY SHIT Do Not Eat!

MY SHIT Do Not Eat!

By you're shitting me - 27/05/2013 05:05 - Australia

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with four other people, with one fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 681

You deserved it 3 264

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Tis the season to be jolly

By littl3storm - 23/12/2020 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, at the ripe age of 20, I spent the early hours of my morning violently vomiting blood every time I got too warm. I then had the pleasure of shitting in a plastic container for a stool sample, due to said problem, after one and half hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 86

By shatMyself - 22/04/2013 19:10 - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 478

You deserved it 3 422

What is wrong with me?

By I can't anymore - 16/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my finally figuring out what the hell is wrong with my body has coincided with the local clinic closing for the weekend. I can't get referrals until they open again. Only three long, boring, miserable days and three long, agonizing, sleepless nights to go. And probably more even after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 86

The first step is admitting you have a problem: take away is bad for you.

By Tyr88 - 05/03/2017 02:00 - Australia - Blakehurst

Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 556

You deserved it 1 610

Asshole

By Anonymous - 30/04/2015 17:33 - United Kingdom - Limavady

Today, someone at work took my delicate medication out of the fridge to make room for their lunch. Now my medication has expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 730

You deserved it 2 888

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 17:32 - Japan - Yokohama

Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 833

You deserved it 4 508

By Disappointed Mom - 31/07/2016 20:31 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was supposed to be enjoying a long-anticipated, desperately needed, weekend away. Turns out those "little stomach twinges" were actually symptoms of appendicitis. I'm stuck in the hospital, alone, recovering from surgery, while my family is enjoying our non-refundable break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 677

You deserved it 1 037

Thanks for nothing

By Somebody - 19/08/2020 17:01

Today, my mother-in-law came over. Probably thinking that the needles in our fridge were steroids, and wanting to do the right thing, she took them to throw them away. I'm diabetic, and they were my insulin. I went into shock after she left and had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 158

Climate change

By BloodyHorror - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, the blood from some defrosted steak dripped under my fridge where I couldn't see it. One insanely hot day later, and my whole house smells like it has its period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 483

The doctor will see you… soon

By Anonymous - 09/06/2022 10:00

Today, I spent several hours sitting in the ER hyperventilating from pain and passing out, due to a herniated disc in my back. I had to watch at least 5 people go ahead of me, whose only complaints was that their stomach hurt or they felt nauseous. One of these people had a bag of snacks with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 166

lambda_fml 40

Monday 27 May 2013 13:55

Yet you managed to write four.

rivaraven 35

Monday 27 May 2013 15:49

#61, for the next 72 hours. I think the problem is not OP, but you and your ability to read.

Comments

kaitb1103 23

Monday 27 May 2013 12:29

Ditto # 11 & #12. Buy a mini fridge. Your housemates shouldn't have to deal with that.

speshlk37 13

Monday 27 May 2013 12:33

"Dude, those brownies sucked..."

keepcalmandbacon 16

Monday 27 May 2013 19:48

"Dude, those were some shitty brownies."

fsomelife 26

Monday 27 May 2013 12:35

Wrap the container in foil or something else that isn't see-through, tell them it's something none of them would get curious about. Get better, OP.

Zomg_Okay 26

Monday 27 May 2013 14:27

If you tell them it's something they wouldn't be curious about, they're going to instantly become really, really curious.

msmal3 6

Monday 27 May 2013 15:12

It's in a sealed tin and you can't see through it but I put it in a plastic bag as well. One of them asked what was with the paint tin in the fridge before picking it up and seeing the pathology label. Looked like he died a lite inside...

Grand_Cookie 21

Monday 27 May 2013 12:37

Damn! This pudding tastes like shit! Wait a second...

Andrew910 5

Monday 27 May 2013 17:18

Nice! This shit tastes like pudding!

sabrinaacrow 26

Monday 27 May 2013 12:37

It's "you better not get diarrhoea" if you want it to be grammatically correct

sexyboi1985 27

Monday 27 May 2013 12:38

Well, it's your time to take revenge with ur flat mates !

thatnucca 36

Monday 27 May 2013 12:41

That one time the statement "Do not touch my shit" will have to be taken literally...

Ladisa 28

Monday 27 May 2013 13:07

I am now waiting for a FML saying 'Today, I mistook my housemate's container of bowel movements he has to keep in the fridge for chocolate pudding. FML'.