Ouch

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 23:07 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 932
You deserved it 6 294
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Top comments

FortuneCookie3 1

maybe he could suck the blockage out.

242 13

Comments

every1luvsboners 11

Can you buy strap-on nipples?

56 6
LiyIa_fml 8

I believe you can. That would be some interesting sex though. O.o

7 2
metalcoremaster 4

U never saw meet the fockers

1 0
every1luvsboners 11

Because you're staring at a poster of Biebers camel toe.

40 6
LiyIa_fml 8

Or both combined! O.o

2 1
BeefyQueef 5

This thread is giving me a boner, and everyone loves boners!

6 1
Snafuusmc 12

Ahh every mans weakness Breasts! Well don't let him touch them until their ready for round 2!

8 2
Right_Click 12

Slap him across the face with your breasts. It will at least alleviate your frustration.

25 1
LiyIa_fml 8

Wouldn't that just worsin OP's pain??? O.o

5 2
ladyLALAA 28

Maybe, but it would also be hilarious!

7 0
high_tower87 9

You're complaining that your boyfriend does foreplay?

4 34
LiyIa_fml 8

.... How can so many people not understand?

4 0
MissMae93 23

If it's excessive it's really not foreplay. My boyfriend insists on sucking on mine all the time. It's the biggest piss off I've ever had to endure.

8 0
minodino 8

she said that she's never been pregnant, so there wouldn't be any milk

3 0
evilplatypus 38

Kick him in the balls and then laugh at HIM. Show the bastard what it's like. BTW, you can produce milk without ever getting pregnant. Some men have even been able to coax their own milk production.

25 3
yummcookie 0

Risk infertility for something that while painful, is pretty funny? Harsh. Also that's complete b.s. men have no milk glands are cannot produce any whatsoever. You're an idiot.

2 33
unagi_fml 9

Apparently, men have milk ducts, oxytocin, and prolactin (hormones for milk production), not to mention the same breast tissues as women, and nipples. Men can produce oestrogen too, so lactation in men is possible lol.

18 1
BeefyQueef 5

57- YOUR'RE the idiot. It's been done and proven. I am living proof!

16 1
astralvagan 20

The fact that you know this information is kinda disturbing

4 8
kofeinisti 6

If the blockage gets bad enough it can get infected and if the infection gets bad enough she can die of blood poisoning. So dying because of a blocked milk duct is not really any funnier than infertility - and they're about as likely to happen. So yeah, kick him in the balls, repeatedly.

15 2
mom2pen 4

How will this cause infertility?

2 2
DocBastard 38

kofeinisti - That's a bit alarmist, don't you think? First of all, "blood poisoning" is an antiquated term that went out with the horse and carriage. We call it "sepsis" these days. And the chances of a person dying from a blocked milk duct getting infected is close to zero these days. It drives me insane when people spread medical misinformation. This is exactly why you can't trust what you read on the internet.

15 1
Moobug 4

I wondered why I hadn't heard the term 'blood poisoning' for a while. I suppose I've only ever heard it from people my parents' age and older! Isn't it also true that because men have all the same boobtissues as women, they can in fact develop breast cancer as well?

6 0
Tdevonner 0

nooo theyre both equally unlikely to happen...wait no cuz infertility from a bum nip WONT happen..i mean obviously sepsis is always a risk even from nicking urself while shaving or biting ur lip...but unless u have no immune system and have 0 medical resources its highly unlikely...

0 1
perdix 29

He'll stop laughing once you tell him your nipples are out of service and he'll have to focus his insane oral fixation on your pussy. I see a visit to the gyno in your near future, but it will be so worth it!

35 1
LiyIa_fml 8

I don't know if I should laugh or find this disturbing. :) I'll just back away slowly!

7 2
perdix 29

If you are referring to #40, I'm voting for laughing. On the other hand, if you are thinking of #47, that could go either way.

6 2
kingsley_fml 8

C'mon 40, ****** jokes are old hat, try thinking outside of the box.

5 2
GoW_Chick 14

Come on! who doesn't like a well thought out ****** joke, learn how to laugh.

9 1
kingsley_fml 8

71, read between the vertical lines.

7 0
GoW_Chick 14

73- I must be a dumbass because I don't get it ... damn you and vertical lines have me all confused

5 1
perdix 29

#84, allow me to help. Stand in front of a full-length mirror and drop your pants. A lot of guys have a slogan, "I'd walk a mile for a vertical smile." Does this make sense now?

12 1
Tdevonner 0

haaaaa i thing #68 has the best pun so far...read it like 30x before i noticed it lol

0 0
pillsburyadita 0

lmao, i haven't LOL'd this good in a long time. FML

4 6