Sex and Intimacy: Precaution

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 575

You deserved it 9 940

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Same thing different taste

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 976

You deserved it 632

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 162

You deserved it 10 853

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 845

You deserved it 8 696

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 410

You deserved it 1 586

Yeet it

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 1 148

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 764

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 1 791

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 782

You deserved it 798 446

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 803

You deserved it 97 678

Not my turn

By Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 262

You deserved it 1 012

perdix 29

Sunday 31 October 2010 19:19

You're going to have shitty kids.

Paramorefan2 1

Sunday 31 October 2010 19:16

wow. that sucks. she's stupid.

Comments

lovemuscle808 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 21:05

you're gonna have asshole babies to go with your shitty gf

Jonscarl 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 21:11

1 your girl friend is stupid

yafuckyourlife 4

Sunday 31 October 2010 21:23

Seriously?

IsBitchBetter 1

Sunday 31 October 2010 21:24

Got a real winner there, don't you?

eddyy555 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 22:06

damn ur gurl is stupid

wowmomurcool 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 22:08

she's a little special now isn't she?

thekooliest 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 22:16

She needs to stop being a retarded pussy..

elmorous 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 22:16

"I was having sex ... with my girlfriend ... when I came." That would be the optimum time to come, I suppose.

Daddymo 14

Sunday 31 October 2010 22:32

Lies.

MissSarcastic 3

Sunday 31 October 2010 22:33

Blah blah blah Shut it with the long ass comments! *no pun intended* And hey, as long as the sex was good ;D

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Parents Weekend Kids Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Animals Pizza

The Top

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 minutes away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 749

You deserved it 5 473

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 351

You deserved it 34 663

The Top

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I felt I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 940

You deserved it 228 501

Today, it's been 3 weeks ago our 12 year-old son walked in on us having sex. Ever since then he’s treating his mom like she was the victim of some horrible crime and treats me like I should be in prison. He refuses to stop, even though we’ve both spoken to him about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 307

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 358

You deserved it 10 950

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 446

You deserved it 4 821

Today, after telling a student that she had to take the online test on the date that I had assigned, she whined to the vice president of the college, who then told my dean that he needed to do something about it. She made me offer testing days on multiple dates. So much for integrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 235

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 6 316