Awkward and Work: Prospects - FML

Prospects

By mike - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 716

You deserved it 4 623

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Top comments

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 5 September 2011 0:06

And even better practice for when you try to escape from one?

perdix 29

Monday 5 September 2011 0:10

Tell her you plan to bury your victims well enough that they'll never be found, and you won't go to prison. Ask her to lay down in your hole to see if she fits.

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 5 September 2011 2:00

Holes. A great movie!!! With sound track of "Children of the graves"

zendaddy0 0

Monday 5 September 2011 2:10

DIGGY DIGGY HOLE couldn't resist

Ashle1gh 14

Monday 5 September 2011 2:43

If that was my mother, I'd probably go to prison for attempting to murder her.

Bijaglo 3

Monday 5 September 2011 7:07

**** attempting, I'd suceed.

BIGBOY4rmAHM 19

Monday 5 September 2011 2:43

You must be a delinquent.

Jazzgirl101 12

Monday 5 September 2011 2:43

sorry but your mum sounds amazing

GP14brBaller 5

Monday 5 September 2011 3:04

59 Yogscast FTW

teyyoshi 19

Monday 5 September 2011 3:22

what does "drop the soap"mean??can anybody tell me??

bigfatF 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 11:00

well, when you drop the soap, you must bend over to retrieve it. when you do so, Bubba will be there, and you butthole will go from . to O

VixSparda 5

Monday 5 September 2011 3:26

i hope you hit her with something

tatababe 1

Monday 5 September 2011 3:28

OP there's a reason she said that -.-

auddylynne 0

Monday 5 September 2011 3:29

Bahaha! She has a point! Lol

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 171

You deserved it 9 471

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 429

You deserved it 3 084

The Top

Today, my father was helping me move into college. When we arrived, the students helping people move in mistook me for one of the parents. I’m 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 152

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 828

You deserved it 2 953

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 197

You deserved it 3 635

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 360

You deserved it 17 607

Today, I called and went downtown after the city incorrectly issued fines against my property and threatened jail time for violating city ordinances, not paying fines, and not filing permits. They told me that, until fines are paid, they cannot correct a thing even though they got the address wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 400

You deserved it 281

Today, I watched as my girlfriend painfully plucked her eyebrows for half an hour. She is willing to do this, but not shave her armpits on a regular basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 1 092