Awkward and Work: Prospects - FML

Prospects

By mike - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 716

You deserved it 4 623

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Top comments

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 5 September 2011 0:06

And even better practice for when you try to escape from one?

perdix 29

Monday 5 September 2011 0:10

Tell her you plan to bury your victims well enough that they'll never be found, and you won't go to prison. Ask her to lay down in your hole to see if she fits.

Comments

bms1996 12

Monday 5 September 2011 0:34

does somebody need to go on beyond scared straight?

Buzzy123 7

Monday 5 September 2011 0:38

Like mother like son?

summerbreeze888 10

Monday 5 September 2011 0:40

Why were you digging in the backyard? Are you like 5 years old?!

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 5 September 2011 1:31

It's called gardening...

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 5 September 2011 1:33

It's called gardening.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 5 September 2011 2:19

Or the grave of his victims

mcr22dnb 4

Monday 5 September 2011 8:24

Ohh haii im from alberta too ^__^

27BronxBombers 12

Monday 5 September 2011 0:50

Diggy diggy hole?

LiveLaughFML 10

Monday 5 September 2011 0:51

she should have walked in on you bending down. don't drop the soap!

Glitterhinoceros 14

Monday 5 September 2011 0:51

Lovely mother you have yourself.

leadman1989 15

Monday 5 September 2011 1:00

Turn to her and say in a English accent with a straight face "Mother you silly *****, this (hole) as you so so dimwitingly put it is actually the beginning... Of what you say? *laugh maniacally - walk away

aknuth1103 6

Monday 5 September 2011 1:10

-19 did she say "my nipples are hard" or "I'm glad to see you getting ready for prison"?? Just wondering...

coldsteele152 1

Monday 5 September 2011 1:11

I used a jackhammer for 6 hours today

rogerusmc23 0

Monday 5 September 2011 4:13

I'm proud of you.

stronghand0331 17

Monday 5 September 2011 5:30

Is that what you young chaps call it these days? ;)

max_wilder 9

Monday 5 September 2011 1:13

Why were you digging

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 157

You deserved it 2 693

Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 870

You deserved it 295

The Top

Today, on a third and hopefully eventful date, I tried to be smooth and pull out my date's chair for them at a restaurant. I misjudged the distance and ended up pulling the chair out from under them completely, causing them to fall. The rest of the date was spent apologizing profusely. No third base either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 569

Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 538

You deserved it 2 470

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 201

You deserved it 4 168

Today, my Food Stamp application was denied because my income is apparently “too high”. I pay $1800 in rent and water, $130 for the phone and internet bill, $400 on credit cards, $150 for electricity, and $120 on car insurance. Nice to know they expect me to eat with $50/month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 590

Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 798

You deserved it 1 596

Today, I'm dating a trans girl, who is also my best friend. She confessed to me long ago that she was born male, and that wasn't a big deal to me. The problem is that my family is constantly harassing her, because I should have been "with a real girl instead of a monster with severed genitals." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 490