Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Sexy talk

Sexy talk

By cheekymonkey97 - 24/10/2016 16:48

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 551

You deserved it 1 517

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Same thing different taste

Defeated

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 23:08

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 165

You deserved it 5 454

Last act

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 20:00

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 179

You deserved it 275

Making plans

By nowsingle - 03/07/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 004

You deserved it 5 803

By notyourmummy - 12/11/2015 09:09 - United Kingdom - Ryde

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 013

You deserved it 3 401

Exploding milk ****

By not that kinda squirting - 30/04/2019 14:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 869

You deserved it 591

By goldie09 - 18/02/2010 17:36 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 797

You deserved it 5 232

Jammed

By me - 05/01/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 455

You deserved it 3 761

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 688

You deserved it 9 297

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 932

You deserved it 10 195

It's all too much

By toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715

You deserved it 27 261

crispiestsquid 4

Tuesday 25 October 2016 15:21

If you can't laugh during sex, you are having it with the wrong person

Shadowvoid 33

Tuesday 25 October 2016 15:02

First of all, I think op's boyfriend knows how lactation works and when it happens. He was referring to the act of milking, not the actual production of milk. Secondly, why would this not kill the mood? I feel like there are very few women who are into being milked.

Comments

evergreengirl202 10

Wednesday 26 October 2016 0:30

I think it's funny

SomeRandomUser 19

Wednesday 26 October 2016 4:40

Eh. We all think that at some point.

Hugabutt 9

Thursday 27 October 2016 0:13

I think you should've laughed. I know I would have. ??

OhPuhleeze 23

Thursday 27 October 2016 18:54

I think the more important question is "Did it kill the mood?" or were you horny enough to carry on ;-) Oddly enough I did not see a lot of puns and wordplay on the statement. I honestly thought more people would try and milk the situation and squeeze last bit of fun out of the situation.