Love, Annoying and Miscellaneous: Sounds like quite the catch

Sounds like quite the catch

By Brooke - 14/08/2015 16:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred, "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 796

You deserved it 2 358

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 02/09/2012 22:31 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 491

You deserved it 7 368

By soembarrassed - 02/08/2009 13:40 - Australia

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 525

You deserved it 12 490

By Anonymous - 27/05/2014 19:26 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 772

You deserved it 5 502

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 928

You deserved it 38 550

Great date

By okthen - 10/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years… by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 1 764

Poor me

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 03:00

Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 014

You deserved it 242

By brittney242 - 17/12/2016 10:03 - United States - Stow

Today, while at a night club, I was wearing a brand new outfit that I absolutely loved. I was enjoying myself until I felt something wet drop onto my head and body from above. It was puke from a drunk guy in the V.I.P. section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 652

You deserved it 647

By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 15:59 - United States - De Soto

Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 334

You deserved it 2 303

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 765

You deserved it 6 707

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 215

swanheart 35

Saturday 15 August 2015 8:32

Hope you got his number. He sounds like a keeper! :-/

iPixelCheese 19

Saturday 15 August 2015 8:38

Can't help but laugh at this. Someday you will probably look back and laugh too. As for now, FYL

Comments

kovalsky_fml 10

Saturday 15 August 2015 8:45

I think what he meant to say was something along the lines of, "you're so beautiful I would go to great lengths to get to know you better and more intimately", or he actually wants to suck your farts.. Not sure really

lysx84 24

Monday 17 August 2015 2:52

#13 I thought a disgusting example such as this was entirely relevant to the original FML... some people are just, y'know, totally ****** up and inappropriate. Not just Scots btw, those are just the ones I see most of.

az1z_official 17

Saturday 15 August 2015 8:46

Damn, that boy means business apart from the throwing up part

bulletsinthewind 21

Saturday 15 August 2015 9:01

Well, at least what he said was meant as a compliment. A weird, gross compliment, but still a compliment. He sounds like the type of guy that ruins the fun for those around him, however