Sticky boi

By emonsteadman - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Denton

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 640
You deserved it 3 439

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Well make sure u dont save his life if he ever needs the help...

Comments

theneatoburrito 8

Next time you see that kid running, throw a 12-pack at his head. That should solve your problems. Oh, and sorry OP, that must've sucked. FYL.

That kid now knows this guy can't do anything if the kid throws shit at him, agitating the kid would only makes matters worse.

Soda baked lifeguard...mmmmm...sounds delicious. :P

Definitely. That high fructose corn syrup really opens up those pores.

theneatoburrito 8

Oh and if that were me lifeguarding, I wouldn't be breaking the rules by jumping down. When I'd be finished with him, there WOULD be an emergency.

theneatoburrito 8

Whoa, Hockeyboy4280...that name makes you seem SO badass.

Really? I was trying to convey that I was a hockey player, not a badass.

KiddNYC1O 20
ergo_fml 13

Two guys with bathroom mirror shots and emo haircuts... Keep arguing, but neither of you are "badass."

93- if you hadn't of notice, which from what I can tell, you didn't notice, I was actually denying that I'm a badass. And my haircut is just a haircut, why must everything have a label put on it these days?

theneatoburrito 8

Okay "hockeyboy", when you're putting someone else down for not being a "badass", that usually implies that you think you're better, in this case, more of a badass. And 93- how is my haircut emo? Nice try though.

Dude, I'm kidding. No need to get our panties in a bunch... it's FML, a place of joking with and about each other.

theneatoburrito 8

Exactly, but you can't make fun of someone for not being a "badass" when you even claim you aren't one, joking or not. That makes no sense.

I wasn't saying that you weren't, I was making a sarcastic joke. Let's not read too deep into it... Take it at face value, it was a joke, that's all.

112, That is some horrendous logic you have there. I have no idea how you thought up that nonsense. See heres the thing, if your name was Edward and you were going around everywhere telling everyone you're a vampire, and I saw you stand out in sunlight glittering like a fairy, I would insult you for being a giant douche and lying about being a vampire. This would not suddenly suggest I'm a vampire myself, it would suggest I am able to objectively identify that someone is full of crap. Dumbass.

theneatoburrito 8

134- I see the point you're trying to make, but you might want to reread the comments. It's not like he was just pointing out I'm not a badass (which I don't try to be), he was actually putting me down for not being a badass (which again, I'm not). Then he later admitted HE wasn't a "badass". So instead of your example, it was more like this: Let's say I didn't make the varsity team in a sport or something. It would be like him making fun of me for not making varsity, when he didn't make varsity either.

Name one time where I put you as a person, down. You took my zing wayyyyyy outta context. The only thing I said was "we got a badass over here". That says nothing about your toughness or you as a person. You made a tough guy comment, I made a joke-y reply. Don't take it so personal, just laugh, call me a dick, and move on.

The only one who insulted you here, was Ergo (not like being Emo is bad) but she spun it in such a way that made us sound like ******* in a sense. I'm a sensitive guy, but I don't even get near this offended. Sounds like you misunderstood or misread my joke. Sorry if you took it offensive, as this was not my intention. Just guys being guys.

Well, I myself give a **** for starters. And it would appear that "theneatoburrito" also gives a ****. A few more People chimed in on this thread, so they may give some *****. Hope I answered your question.

That's great. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Mmmm soda-flavored lifeguard. Wish I was a pool shark.

21- your comment makes me wish I didn't delete the last part of my comment. I love Sandlot and that fake drowning/kissing scene always sticks out in my mind.

26, Who even remembers the Sandlot these days. You're such an L 7 weenie.

30- I dunno 135- it's sad that some people on this thread won't understand references from good movies with a good plot, sans the ADD inducing CGI. What happened to movies like that? There was such a refreshing innocence in that movie. Ah, I love Sandlot. Call me an L7 weenie all you want :D Let's go play ball with this Babe Ruth autographed baseball and see what shenanigans we get into.

162, Since I was a child when it came out I can only really hypothesise on the answer to that, which I THINK would be that while we remember the great movies from that era there were probably just as many forgettable ones. There are decent movies that come out now, despite the current technology, and in the same way as before we get caught up in what we are exposed to at the time. So I'm guessing in about 20 years people will look back and say "back then they got the balance of CG movies right, now they just sacrifice the story and its ALL CG, things should go back to how they were in the 00's." Something tells me your question was rhetorical. And who the hell is Babe Ruth?! :P

Hm, maybe you're right. I guess it was just a different time and the cycle will continue. Babe Ruth?! The Great Bambino! Yeah let's go play ball by that fence over there :P

Haha I don't care it was a good movie. Sure there are some good and bad movies, but sandlot was a classic.

Ohhh the great BAMBINO...I thought you said the...uh...the great Bambi.

nofearjenshere 12

Seriously, what's the point of wasting a perfectly good comment on "..." ?

PYLrulz 17

I'd consider whipping the kids ass a good enough emergency

Hahahahaha I would have been so mad omg

theneatoburrito 8

Thank you for that truly insightful comment.

theneatoburrito 8
SupaHotFire 4

U could have said you were allergic to soda haha

That wouldn't have stopped the kid from throwing the soda. Obviously he didn't care in the first place.

When I read the comment I thought 27 meant that if the OP had said that they were allergic to soda it would have been an emergency and they could have gotten down from the stand and washed the soda off. I could be wrong but if that's the case then it's not really a bad suggestion.

I would have told someone to push him in so i would have an excuse to jump in