Stolen valor
By lifesucksbigtimefuys - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom
By lifesucksbigtimefuys - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom
I wouldn't say we, because I know that I would never be someone's "emergency gay friend." and most self respecting people wouldn't for that matter. Shame on OP..
Bitch shutup.
Well OP, you ****** up and your chances are now slim to none. I suggest using this to your advantage and ask her if you can touch her boobs. Your excuse would be that you have always wanted to have a pair and want to know what it feels like. This can be the only time you can randomly ask a girl something like this without getting slapped or kicked in the nuts. Somehow make this a win situation for yourself.
Yes. Everyone knows that gay friends get to look at and touch the breasts and private parts of their girl friends.
Thats worse than being friend-zoned. A moment of silence...
Okay. I see why you're upset but I need to rant for a second or four. I absolutely HATE when people insist on being someones friend just because they're gay. It annoys the crap out of me. People will come up to me "Zuri! my favourite lesbian!" and that's all there is. Nothing else. So, yeah, OP you're basically being used. I'd suggest trying to find someone else to fall for or confess. Quickly! Go now! Run! AAAHHHHH *'splodes* I HAVE NO IDEA.
Zuri you certainly sound like an interesting friend to have.
"Ah, what we'd do to be used..." sounds like a better sentence. I don't think the situation that OP has gotten themselves into can be viewed as "love," at all.
I meant that in a good way of course. Your "splodes" part of the comment made me chuckle.
Maybe if she knew you werent gay then something could happen. You have to tell her op.
The fact that you said "yes" explains why you're in this situation -.-
This FML reminds me of the movie Kick Ass
And Chuck and Larry. When he see her naked and tries to hide his boner lol!
55, I think you mean an interesting lesbian friend to have. Lesbian is the keyword here, because gay people are always defined by who they are attracted to don't you know... Sadly, many gay people actually embrace this annoying image. So the cycle perpetuates itself and those who have the common sense to identify themselves as human first and gay second get the shaft...so to speak.
Personal favorite of mine is being introduced by some of my friends "...and this is my Lesbian friend Sierra" or "this is Sierra *hand to side of mouth in a whisper* ...lesbian..."
Oh I agree #1
Well I had this friend who was a girl and she had a boyfriend and we have been friends for years and nothing has ever happened between us. I had a crush on her for a little but it passed and we became just good friends. I am completely straight but I inherited this insane ability to do a super convincing gay guy voice from my dad whose like a 12 year old at heart. I was also best friends with her boyfriend so I knew both pretty well, she came to me to talk when they Fought cuze i knew him well, and I would occasionally end up with me using my gay voice to cheer her up and I quickly became her "gay friend" =p Idc though in my situation cuze I have no feelings for this girl likely that anymore but I know how hard it is to have those feelings but have something blocking it, it sucked when I had a crush on her =
So you're not her boyfriend, you're not her gay friend, you're not her regular friend, you're not her emergency regular friend, you're her emergency pretending to be gay but actually straight friend. A bit pathetic no? Might wanna try and move up the food chain or move on to someone else.
1. Watch the movie Kick Ass. 2. ??? 3. You guys go out.
1 Gain her trust as the gay best friend 2 ????? 3 Let her turn you straight miraculously, and enjoy
Seriously.. OP you need to talk to we about this. I don't see it getting better any time soon..
108- back to the English classroom...
Be the gay friend and gain her trust enough that she goes shopping with you and brings you into the change room to help her try on bras. (Two and a half men reference)
That's genius.
Actually I'd say your grammar would be more of an embarrassment.
If you say that to your Ma, you'll hurt her feelings D:
Yeah? We don't care
To Gween, MaYou is actually the species of idiot that submit to FML.
You might wanna have a chat with her..
Just like in Kick-Ass
Yep
be sure to be a viral vigilante first tho
Once you get hit with the tennis racket you get to feel boobies.
It's spelled "KICK-ASS!"
Well...any chick flick that starts like this ends with the guy slowly growing closer and closer to the girl until they fall in love. So in Hollywood you would be set :D
Unfortunatly, this isn't creeptastic Hollywood Romcomtopia...
My initial thought was to ask OP if he's living in an 80s John Williams teen comedy. Is your crush Molly Ringwald?!
Do you mean John Hughes? John Williams is a bad ass composer...
1) The girl you like thinks you're gay. 2) If she finds out the truth, then you're a liar who pretended to be gay in order to get closer to her. I don't see this going well for you.
What's your profile pick of and I agree, he's screwed.
technically, he can say he meant the old gay (happy). then he isn't lying, and proving he isn't gay (homosexual).
ok this is what you do. plan a nice 'date' at a fancy restaurant. make sure it's a seafood restaurant though, you might get mixed feelings if it isn't. tell her that it's just going to be a nice dinner among friends. then, as she is driving to the restaurant, call her and tell her that you're going to be a few minutes late prepping your 'fabulous outfit'. then while she is ordering her second glass of wine, start sucking a dick. then she'll know for sure you were gay at some point.
42-It didn't look like a condom to me before but now that you mention it I think you're right.
If she finds out, all he has to say is he's bi
You're all wrong about the picture. That thing going "through his spine" is just a heart monitor lead and its wire. The ring you see is a **** ring. This was a patient of mine who was a drunk driver in a car accident...while wearing a **** ring. I didn't ask.
New pic doc. Out comes the bottle and in goes the *****....
Keywords
So you're not her boyfriend, you're not her gay friend, you're not her regular friend, you're not her emergency regular friend, you're her emergency pretending to be gay but actually straight friend. A bit pathetic no? Might wanna try and move up the food chain or move on to someone else.
Ah, what we do for love..