Love: Stolen valor - FML

Stolen valor

By lifesucksbigtimefuys - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend." The worst part? I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 27 149

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Top comments

Wheredidgrungego 12

Sunday 4 December 2011 19:06

So you're not her boyfriend, you're not her gay friend, you're not her regular friend, you're not her emergency regular friend, you're her emergency pretending to be gay but actually straight friend. A bit pathetic no? Might wanna try and move up the food chain or move on to someone else.

ingridpingrid 4

Sunday 4 December 2011 19:05

Ah, what we do for love..

Comments

theburninator 1

Monday 5 December 2011 0:34

You have like -2 balls

fizzypop14 3

Monday 5 December 2011 0:52

unicorns are horny

jaredofmo 22

Monday 5 December 2011 0:59

You are going to have to handle this with care or call it off.

fenfen16 5

Monday 5 December 2011 1:00

Will only end in tears...

hotncool 0

Monday 5 December 2011 1:05

Hahaha Lmao That's all yo own fault too fo sayin yes to ur gay friend Lmao hahaha

lmfaooxox 1

Monday 5 December 2011 1:11

Oh no, why!? your never gunna come outta the gay friend zone :/

sivadet 3

Monday 5 December 2011 1:22

Man card revoced Sorry cant spell for shit

every1lovesbacon 0

Monday 5 December 2011 1:27

No sex for you my friend.

googlewtf 0

Monday 5 December 2011 1:29

Pathetic man u might as well be gay u got no balls

jm635 5

Monday 5 December 2011 1:41

Haven’t you seen enough rom-coms to know that yes to that will just lead you to only trouble?

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The Top

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 718

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 915

You deserved it 74 266

The Top

Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own, and where I work. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 876

You deserved it 10 490

Today, I figured out my boyfriend gets out of jail in less than six months. First off, I have a boyfriend in jail. Second, I also realized I'd much prefer he stay in than get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 1 902

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 272

Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 027

You deserved it 364

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 236

You deserved it 3 654

Today, I found out that I have to take a weekly workshop outside of class time all semester, and it's only offered on the day I have the most work hours. I barely make ends meet as it is, but the professor said to figure it out or fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 853

You deserved it 328