Stolen valor

By lifesucksbigtimefuys - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend." The worst part? I said yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 923
You deserved it 27 149
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Top comments

Wheredidgrungego 12

So you're not her boyfriend, you're not her gay friend, you're not her regular friend, you're not her emergency regular friend, you're her emergency pretending to be gay but actually straight friend. A bit pathetic no? Might wanna try and move up the food chain or move on to someone else.

387 11
ingridpingrid 4

Ah, what we do for love..

297 5

Comments

shaykay1995 5

Listen, she'll find out sometime that you're not gay, you have to tell her NOW. Tell her "about earlier today.. I'm not gay." You don't have to tell her you've had a crush on her, that'll just freak her out. Just tell her you're not gay. And if she asks why you haven't had a girlfriend all these years, tell her "I'm still looking for the right one." On the upside, if you want to go with it and give up on her, she'll start changing in front of you.. you'll get a good view there ;) but if you haven't seen that one movie (sorry, forgot what its called) there was this guy who made the exact same mistake, he started acting gay, got extremely expensive gay shirts and haircuts, she ended up explaining that since he hasn't made a move for a whole week that they went to watch movies and stuff, she assumed he's gay. You've gotta act fast around girls, you can't have a crush for years and not do anything about it, life doesn't work that way. Tell her now, before you lose her completely. But don't freak her out, or you'll lose her anyways. Good luck!

6 0
downtime 12

Act fast? I do believe girls get annoyed when guys hit on them when they first meet, so apparently there is some middle ground bullshit that all guys need to fit into. A short window of opportunity otherwise you're a creep or gay. Sadly I'm always the "gay" one because I refuse to enter into a relationship with someone I don't know. No sympathy for these girls when they end up being used.

1 0
thewife5 19

I feel bad that a moderator had to read this novel

2 0
ajjucool 0

that could turn out positive for you.. have you seen the movie.. i now pronounce you chuck and larry? you could become her adam sandler.. think positive.

2 0
AmandaIsMyName 0

Ooooo! Dick Wipped

0 2
NullPointer 20

"All my life I have been gay. When I was younger, I tried for years to be attracted to women. I couldn't do it, they sickened me. But with you it's different. I see other women's lips and am turned off, but yours I just want to kiss. I see other women's eyes and feel nothing, but looking into yours I feel warmth. I see other women's breasts and am disgusted, but your fine breasts make me excited. I see other women's asses and am bored, but yours I just want to touch. I want you , I don't know what it is about you, but you're beautiful in a way that I've never experienced beauty before. The last time that I was with a man I couldn't go through with it. I don't want men anymore, only you. You turned a gay man straight. You're amazing . I love you."

8 1
NullPointer 20

lol, I had (insert name here) in angle brackets, but it was removed I guess you can use tags here test damn fmylife messing up my post

0 1
NullPointer 20

fml, why you remove my (insert name) with angle brackets?

0 1
russfml 31

Don't waste your time with her, move on buddy that ones not going to happen.

0 1
tiger_lover9428 0

Hey she might got to Victorias secret and have u go along.

0 0