Money, Health and Intimacy: Testing testing, one two one two - FML

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Testing testing, one two one two

By regretter - 01/03/2011 01:07

Spicy

Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 988

You deserved it 7 784

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By welp24 - 28/10/2018 03:00

Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 210

You deserved it 371

Up it goes

By 0stvn0 - 16/03/2012 01:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STI test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said, "Gonna be honest Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 768

You deserved it 5 694

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 360

You deserved it 4 408

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 537

You deserved it 10 689

Medicare for all

By US_Healthcare_Sucks - 30/07/2021 14:01

Today, I went to a doctor's appointment, being concerned about some abnormal swelling and soreness in one of my testicles. They fondled my balls for 20 seconds before saying, "Yeah, that's abnormal. You should probably go get an ultrasound somewhere and maybe take some ibuprofen for the pain. That'll be $265." FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 102

Thanks for sharing

By uni life - 15/05/2012 08:08 - Australia - Perth

Spicy

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 230

You deserved it 2 854

By kaitlin - 19/02/2010 06:30 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 146

You deserved it 4 399

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 633

You deserved it 891

Ouch

By Anonymous - 01/04/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 552

You deserved it 439

By ERnightmare - 02/08/2018 21:00 - United States - Long Beach

Spicy

Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 120

You deserved it 4 278

Next

Top comments

ke59100 1

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:00

shoved down your genitals?? do you have a ****** on top of your head?

mintcar 9

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:05

What's the problem? Did you want two tubes shoved up your genitals?

Comments

hockey0429 4

Friday 25 May 2012 1:15

It would help if I knew if it was a boy or girl...

AerBear115 15

Monday 17 September 2012 2:46

Umm why down?

GermanCookie 4

Saturday 12 January 2013 19:35

WTF?

imhope 23

Sunday 29 December 2013 5:45

Why?????

massachusettsan 7

Thursday 26 June 2014 5:49

???????????

NamelessFace 22

Saturday 24 January 2015 2:39

You think that's bad? My parents have been paying for braces for about six years now... I've been in pain and my teeth stopped changing about three or four years ago. Oh, and we still have a year or so to go.

DaRito 25

Friday 22 May 2015 19:24

It's called a catheter and you must have a medical problem that requires it.

Spectemur 8

Friday 18 November 2016 6:48

Weird things we pay for people to do, huh?

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The Top

Today, I offered to give my ex a ride home from work. He and I ended on good terms years ago, we just aren't compatible with each other. I dropped him off and not ten seconds later, he came back out looking sick. His fiancee was inside having sex with MY new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 088

You deserved it 181

Today, I was so horny, I decided to meet up secretly with a guy after having dinner with family. We went for a night drive and he parked somewhere to go down on me. The dude was sucking the life out of my clit, almost biting it off. Good thing my mum called and I had a reason to escape the ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 868

The Top

Today, a guy I had been casually seeing asked me to dinner. Thinking he could be wanting to make things serious, I got all dressed up. Turns out he got a girlfriend and just wanted to tell me in person to avoid things being awkward. We then waited in silence for our meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 375

You deserved it 5 058

Today, I found out that the $200 I reluctantly gave to my mother so she could rent a house was paid to a scammer. Now she wants to live with me, in my one bedroom apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 853

You deserved it 1 911

Today, I woke up and took my mom to work. It wasn't until after I got home, logged on Facebook and looked at the upcoming birthdays to see that it was her birthday today. No wonder she was silent the entire car ride and slammed the door on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 832

You deserved it 57 041

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 358

You deserved it 8 608

Today, I live in a tiny village in the countryside. Nice and quiet, right? Wrong. The farm next door rents out their land to some kind of soil processing company. Basically, it’s like living next to a never-ending construction site that knows neither Sundays nor holidays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 76

Today, the city shut off the water at my house because my roommate thought that the water bills he had been hoarding were "suggestions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 815

You deserved it 3 271