The Crank

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 423
You deserved it 28 728
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

dudeitsdanny 9

Are you so bad you can't even satisfy yourself? e.e... I'm sorry, this is just pathetic.. Crying and masturbating? masturbation guilt? I.. I can't even fathom this. How can you even get off while crying?

99 7
flockz 19

BUT I CRIED THE WHOLE!! oh wait u didnt have sex.....

95 9

Comments

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Where did the term wanking come from that's a new one.

4 16
skylerXx 6

It's used in the UK

9 0
Ins0mau 20

And used here in Australia too.

8 1
skylerXx 6

Not as often though

3 0
BIEBERSLAYER 10

I've never heard it probably cause I'm from America we have more fun ones

1 8
skylerXx 6

Oh really? What are some of the fun ones?

1 0
dylan93able 0

BIEBER SLAYER!! YA!! LOVE THE NAME!!!

1 4
omgcookeys 15

I have heard wanking before, I live in america too, nothing new.

4 0
Sammydubbs 2

Beating the meat, flogging the log, jerkin the gerkin, taming the one-eyed monster, that's all I can think of, anyone else got suggestions

5 0
harrywestt 0

first off if u haven't heard u need to be exposed to the world a little more. and it's a term with use in England

2 1
Stylin_Since_97 10

Was it in your dark basement while staring at a poster of your imaginary girlfriend after you lost a game of Black Ops? 0.o

12 5
armorf0r 7

Black ops sucks... Modern warfare all the way.

1 0
anorexicbarbie 8

Agreed. Battlefield Bad Company 2 is better than both though.

1 0
LaughingAlways 1

Well at least you had fun, that's all that counts.

5 0
NaomiMadison 4

That's constructive? lol

7 0
leearm104 4

you need to talk to someone. that's not healthy bra.

3 3
skylerXx 6

Some days can be boring as hell, but there's no need to cry like a little bitch.

4 2
KingOfOreos 0

says the 12 year old ginger lying about her age

14 1
typeozp 0

Ha! Thought the same thing as soon as I saw her comment...

0 0
Stylin_Since_97 10

Sounds like a severe case of a bipolar disease. One minute your horny and the next your completely and utterly in despair... You poor thing

3 8
wat11115 0

your 14 and posted twice

0 0