The Crank

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 423
You deserved it 28 728

Top comments

dudeitsdanny 9

Are you so bad you can't even satisfy yourself? e.e... I'm sorry, this is just pathetic.. Crying and masturbating? masturbation guilt? I.. I can't even fathom this. How can you even get off while crying?

flockz 19

BUT I CRIED THE WHOLE!! oh wait u didnt have sex.....

Comments

Blumpkinater 3

Next time use your tears as lube

charadeyouare 0

You made my life!!!!! "Bite my lip and close my eyes...."

Warcraft_looser 7

thinking of your dead cat? :)

wow... you are action packed with issues.

Or action packed with tissues... Probably both.

Am I missing something, or has no one suggested that OP may actually be a woman?! Mulholland Dr. anyone?