Miscellaneous: Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out...

By Anonymous - 02/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 072

You deserved it 17 887

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Free glasses for all

By Kat - 12/02/2022 12:01 - New Zealand - Gisborne

Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 407

By hulagirl1217 - 29/05/2010 12:11 - United States

Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 582

You deserved it 2 941

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 958

You deserved it 1 167

By life_sucks - 16/01/2010 18:46 - New Zealand

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 032

You deserved it 7 526

RIP

By funnnyyyyy -_- - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Nepal - Kathmandu

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 245

You deserved it 6 726

Autumn vibes

By Robbo - 26/10/2024 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 89

By CantPublish - 04/09/2012 22:02 - United States

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 940

You deserved it 24 642

Freakout

By benz1369 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, while stocking the green beans at work, I picked up a "leaf" which turned out to be a grasshopper. I screamed so loud, my coworkers now think I'm crazy. This is only my second week here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 427

You deserved it 1 716

By Anon - 19/12/2009 16:07 - United States

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 532

You deserved it 46 625

By iAMloud - 19/03/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 480

You deserved it 67 580

dontpanic_fml 32

Thursday 2 May 2013 13:00

Quick tutorial. Ninjas do: Swiftly chop bugs before they can hit face Ninjas don't: Scream and flail

Ambient25 24

Thursday 2 May 2013 12:19

Just tell them you were practicing your mosh

Comments

divadro102 16

Friday 3 May 2013 0:45

Very stealthy, my friend. Very stealthy.

mattlw 25

Friday 3 May 2013 0:51

That's alright OP. You just made an example out of that leaf to all the other bugs who were watching. Good job!

dalink 24

Friday 3 May 2013 1:21

What about "Curry Ninja"?

tjv3 10

Friday 3 May 2013 1:25

Umm you have shamed us ninjas . Next time try the ninja moves with grace or you will be ban from the club

Bcfrmkc816 17

Friday 3 May 2013 3:53

How do you go into ninja mode with no training? A true ninja would have dodged the leaf and over reacted

ise3 10

Friday 3 May 2013 4:33

I agree with 26. How is flailing wildly even remotely ninja-like? A true ninja would have caught the leaf/bug

JAL10960 7

Friday 3 May 2013 5:44

I would have been so embarrassed, I would have made like a tree and leave.

Panda_Shy_Haven 17

Friday 3 May 2013 5:48

Lol. My laugh for the night

aj9090 9

Friday 3 May 2013 7:03

That actually happens to me ALL the time...

JadeWinter 16

Friday 3 May 2013 7:51

I did the exact same thing at a train station yesterday!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today my job started requiring all transactions regarding cigarettes or alcohol to have the ID scanned before proceeding. There is no way yo bypass this function. I carded a 60 year-old man and his 40 year-old son who both yelled at me for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 955

You deserved it 186

Today, my boyfriend doesn’t like to go out, like at all. I went on a cruise earlier this year and met this guy from my school; we danced together, we talked all night long, and it was amazing. It's been nine months since, and I still haven’t got over it. I'm now questioning my entire 3-year relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 334

The Top

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 951

You deserved it 1 816

Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 209

You deserved it 2 792

Today, I realized that every girl who has approached me or I approached me since high school always ended up trying to get close to me to get close to any one of my friends. Every time I think we’re hitting it off, they ask. When I refuse to set them up, they get angry, and tell others I'm a creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 115

Today, I got called to my son's school again because he punched a girl. Every time he gets in a fight, he justifies it by saying he only hits bullies he catches hurting other kids. His teachers even agree he only hits the bullies like that girl, but it’s becoming a huge problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 151

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 259

You deserved it 1 737

Today, my sister called me a selfish cow, all because I wouldn’t let her have a portion of my daughter’s life insurance check so she can go on a shopping spree. She’s more upset about that than her niece passing way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 168

You deserved it 78

Same thing different taste

Free glasses for all

RIP

Autumn vibes

Freakout

Top comments

Comments