Love: Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over...

By lovehurts - 28/12/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I got a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three-foot range. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 864

You deserved it 57 664

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Same thing different taste

Sorry, I…

By signupsheetfail - 12/08/2009 19:02 - Canada

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 878

You deserved it 41 897

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 695

You deserved it 54 445

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 793

You deserved it 25 010

The opposite of a good idea

By gorokhan2 - 27/04/2020 17:00

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 4 427

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 3 659

By Anonymous - 11/07/2015 02:42 - United States

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 565

You deserved it 4 031

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 950

You deserved it 2 774

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 18:00

Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 928

You deserved it 834

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 982

somepartsareme 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 2:05

Fake, you couldn't have balls, you broke up with her over the phone.

effed_over 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 2:03

That's why you don't do it over the phone.

Comments

ichtudirweh 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 11:32

I hate girls like those who think it's okay to physically assault a man because he broke up with her. It's ridiculous.

wrigglezeus 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 11:56

ok YDI for braking up over the phone. but also FYL for having a gf like that. why do girls think it's alright to physically assault a guy over a break up. even if it's as horrible as that

Gwyndion 9

Tuesday 29 December 2009 11:56

FYL or FYL+ (a bit)YDI depends on why you broke up over the phone really. While violence isn't ok if you say knocked her up and then dumped her then, while the ball shooting isn't okay, its partly deserved. If however you didn't do anything crappy to ehr and dumped her or a fair reason (constricting, she's cheating on you, no more spark,...) then FYL bigtime and hope the nuts are okay. Either way sue her though.

loooooooooool_fml 1

Tuesday 29 December 2009 12:06

*sigh* You'll still be a douche in the eyes of the one you just broke up with, either by face to face or by phone. And you people are idiots btw, nobody deserves to have that kind of shit happen to them.

Gwyndion 9

Tuesday 29 December 2009 12:23

My part YDI if he broke up for a bad reason was to indicate that he deserved some retribution upon him though not ballshooting.

JP101 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 12:40

YDI for being a scared little prick, and not having the balls to say it in person. I hope that you lose your testicles.

youthink_fml 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 13:56

Knowing the kind of person she is is exactly why he probably did it over the phone. All you women who say he deserves it for breaking up over the phone are probably just like her - psycho.

sunshine1313 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 15:36

I think the girl was crazy, for one. I mean... seriously, who shoots someone in the balls with a paintball gun? I'm a girl, so it wouldn't hurt me too much, but for a guy... OUCH! But I also think breaking up over the phone is a cowardly thing to do. I've been broken up through an email to my mom, and I would've rather him broken up with me to my face. It sucks what she did, that wasn't right. But it wasn't right for you to break up with her through the phone either. So, YDI, but FYL at the same time.