Love: Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over...

By lovehurts - 28/12/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I got a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three-foot range. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 864

You deserved it 57 664

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Same thing different taste

Sorry, I…

By signupsheetfail - 12/08/2009 19:02 - Canada

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 878

You deserved it 41 898

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 695

You deserved it 54 445

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 793

You deserved it 25 010

The opposite of a good idea

By gorokhan2 - 27/04/2020 17:00

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 4 427

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 3 659

By Anonymous - 11/07/2015 02:42 - United States

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 565

You deserved it 4 031

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 950

You deserved it 2 774

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 18:00

Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 928

You deserved it 834

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 982

somepartsareme 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 2:05

Fake, you couldn't have balls, you broke up with her over the phone.

effed_over 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 2:03

That's why you don't do it over the phone.

Comments

EffYoLife 14

Wednesday 30 December 2009 2:37

thats what you get for opening the door

newsgit 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 3:21

Do people read the ******* comments? People make great points there, read before you type. Also, honestly, is physical violence the answer to anything? I don't mean to be all school counselor-like, but you don't shoot someone in the ******* balls because they broke up with you, no matter how they broke up with you.

zaphilia 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 4:55

I think that everyone who's saying YDI has never been shot with a paintball gun. It ******* hurts. And I'm saying that from experience with some protective gear on. This guy had no protection whatsoever, and it was point blank. So everyone who's saying YDI, go get shot with a paintball gun at point blank range with no protection on, then come back here and tell us all how he deserves to suffer that kind of pain because he dumped someone over the phone.

dereksmalls1985 7

Wednesday 30 December 2009 6:28

First off, a big **** you to everyone who says this poor sap deserved it. Shooting someone (with a paintball gun or other otherwise) is never the answer - phone breakup or no. Has it occurred to any of you that he broke up with her over the phone because she's a psycho?

mtc4ever 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 7:01

why over the phone?! especially after 2 years! you fcking deserve that. well...I'm not tha cruel but I'd try to make you feel like shit the way you obviously made her feel

mtc4ever 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 7:10

I wouldn't physically abuse you though. you definatelt deserve it while at the same time, fyl. just for the injury... nothing else.

d_1_m_2 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 7:13

im sorry but i have to say, low blow man, both ways, i hope you had a good reason. id do the same if i were her...

anastasia614 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 7:23

i think that he should have a peephole on his door then when he saw is ex-girlfriend with a paintball gun he should have ran away for his life! sorry you don't have a peephole, bro. get one in case she comes again :D

IMB916 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 7:35

That was a terrible thing for her to do but you are a dick for breaking up with her over the phone. especially after 2 years together. it would have made her feel worthless.

acsims 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 7:45

Getting hit in the vag KILLS. I can't imagine the pain of getting hit in the nuts, let alone with a paintball gun! FYI, breaking up over the phone is pathetic