By Garry - 04/05/2012 21:53 - United States

Spicy
Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 277
You deserved it 5 450
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

haidere 3

Didn't know bastard could be used as a verb.

325 5
jerseyboy732 16

what the hell is a shite-wank??

188 0

Comments

keepmeonthedl 7

Urban legend? You really think that? Oh, man.

14 50
comedybreak 20

Who cares? You got your point across :p thats what counts. There are idiots in the world that would believe it, be happy you're not one.

9 3
sombi3 0

I know you can't find stains on your FACE with a black light but you can find them on fabrics,carpets,walls,furniture,etc. Oh n never EVER take a black light around your house because you'll never be able to sit anywhere In your house again.

66 3
keepmeonthedl 7

Ugh I can't even imagine how horrible any house would look under a black light.

26 0
jujubunni5 9

He might just be trying to "fit in"

13 5
eccentrix 12

Why is your life bad because a student shouted at you and ran away?

36 8
boycrazy30007 12

Black lights don't work when it's on SKIN. once the semen is wiped off it won't show up. It stains cloths and carpets, not skins.

26 0
shadowPlayer 6

And here I thought abstinent meant no real sex

3 22
seriouslythat 6

Abstinence is sex in general... At least that's what I was told in my church classes

15 3
perdix 29

It works if you convince the dumbass you're shining the light on that it works. He told her he detected cumstains, so she confessed. This should let you girls know yet another advantage of swallowing ;)

48 12
kalbrek009 20

I think you mean "myth", although....him running out will become a "legend"!

1 13
evilplatypus 38

Urban legend is a story/belief passed around as "fact" by word of mouth that is in actuality false. Myth generally refers to religion (though the bastardized version of its original meaning would work in this case). Both are correct, so your correction was irrelevant.

0 0
go_Banannas0814 0

Well next time don't be a self righteous pain in the ass and stop sweating the small stuff. If you keep up at the rate you are going, being called a "shite-wank" is the least of your worries.

6 27
Levvy 22

On the other hand, he won't be known as someone who stands there taking it from compulsive liars.

3 0
evilplatypus 38

24 - If you don't correct people when they're effin' WRONG, we'll have even more dumbasses than we have now. And where did you get "self-righteous" out of this post? I think you are just having flashbacks to when someone called you out on something stupid.

3 0