By Garry - 04/05/2012 21:53 - United States

Spicy
Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 279
You deserved it 5 451
Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

haidere 3

Didn't know bastard could be used as a verb.

325 5
jerseyboy732 16

what the hell is a shite-wank??

188 0

Comments

Enslaved 36

Black lights do not show semen, unless it's mixed in a puddle of vaseline.

6 2
mxpklx 12

A black light can only show stains of semen and blood is when a chemical (I forget the name) is sprayed on the area.

5 0
CMooreButz 8

I would guess that you're probably single, if not try using a blacklight on your bedsheets. Blacklights do work

0 7
ajeyness 10

They don't work on skin because people take showers and use lotion and saliva shows up and so does blood and urine.

3 0
CMooreButz 8

Blacklights light up what is hard to see, luminol, blacklight, and orange glasses are used by police to see bodily fluids that are not visible because someone tried to clean up.

4 0
808ninjas 3

I think this is a "F Our Lives" as a society, we live among a lot of idiots, my friends.

6 0
AffenKid 9

Was the exchange student from Manchester (UK) per chance? Only an Englishman could come up with such an epic (?) insult.

4 1
hellonyancat 6

Sounds like something Jack from Father Ted would say. Anyway, it's more like an fml for him, he's in a new place, and he's trying to make himself seem cool and you embarrass him in front of everyone. I feel bad for him, even if he did lie.

7 1
Southerndatageek 2

Shitewank is a British slang term thatMIS defined as: 1. A general expletive. Thought to be more satisfying than saying either shite or wank seperately. 2. Male masturbation that leads to an anticlimax, i.e. no ******. Shite=shit. and wank =masturbation Don't call someone a dumb ass til you know the facts...dumb ass!!

5 2
ginglederf 6

I want to know exactly how he pronounced that....(I'm deffidely using this insult sometime I'm the future :3) did he say it bastarding like ba-sterd-ing or bi-stard-ing, I beilieve both may be old English terms... Or not.. I'm not sure

0 3