Miscellaneous: Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing...

By FirstStringQB - 01/10/2011 22:45 - United States

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 271

You deserved it 4 743

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 00:46 - United States - Oregon

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 805

You deserved it 2 140

By Shameful - 18/01/2012 19:57 - United States

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 853

You deserved it 3 786

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 376

You deserved it 13 547

Always wear camo gear

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 316

Baywatch

By Jenn - 16/12/2016 00:50

Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 234

You deserved it 841

By authorsubmit - 04/05/2012 12:49 - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 864

You deserved it 47 662

By GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 466

You deserved it 2 854

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 05:00 - Australia - Darlinghurst

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 086

You deserved it 5 105

By DangerZone - 12/11/2009 03:05 - United States

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 950

You deserved it 5 119

By StickyWicket - 14/05/2019 18:00

Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 130

deviable 9

Sunday 2 October 2011 2:21

Don't worry, at least you're not called Skidmarks.

minder97 10

Sunday 2 October 2011 2:22

hopefully some of your shit got on the guy

Comments

BibzIzBack 5

Sunday 2 October 2011 15:37

Im a freshman in hs and every lineman on our team is over 200 lbs we even have one guy who is almost 300 and they land on me all the time....stop ya bitchin and man up!

ajamespski 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:17

dude, how weak of a stomach could you have? i get landed on by linemen that are 275+ and nothing happens. and im a 160 lb sophomore in high school.

squanmonster 8

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:19

Do you play for the Browns?

lcau322 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 18:13

maybe you should play chess

Wreakorofhavoc 1

Sunday 2 October 2011 18:39

200 pounds? that's nothing man, you must be a twig

surriesly 1

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:18

your problem is your linemen are TOO small. if he was bigger you won't have gotten laid on he's a 200 pound joke. sorry man.

oxxxjackyxxxo 3

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:40

itll b ok muddbutt x)

SoSickWithIt 14

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:54

Yeah, I'm gonna have to say you're a pussy. 200lbs? Seriously? I bet you're the kid who has their parents bitching at the school district trying to restrict kids bigger than 150lbs to be shut out from playing. Pick a different sport, like badminton, hopefully you won't get hurt or have your bowels strewn out.

daydreamer244 13

Sunday 2 October 2011 21:36

don't worry muddbutt.

ZeroMachine 3

Sunday 2 October 2011 22:44

You dumbasses calling this guy a "pussy" realize that it would only take about 50 pounds of pressure, applied in just the right way to make someone loose their bowel.s right? Yeah. a 200 pound guy is not that big in football player terms, but that amount of weight on someone's stomach would make them poop themselves for sure, if the guy had been as heavy as some football players OP might have internal organ damage.