Intimacy: Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came... - FML

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By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 987

You deserved it 18 679

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 181

You deserved it 5 580

Snowball

By shmarf - 20/06/2015 06:00 - United States - Belton

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 975

You deserved it 19 718

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 645

You deserved it 4 809

By fuck - 24/07/2015 16:44 - Canada - Cowansville

Spicy

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 710

You deserved it 3 139

Nasty

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 540

You deserved it 5 895

First!

By karma - 28/01/2009 18:36 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 198

You deserved it 7 483

Self harm

By Embarrassed - 06/12/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I managed to give myself a blowjob and it was great. The only problem is that I got stuck between the wall and my bed while I was doing it. I had to call for help and my whole family came to see what was wrong. They all knew what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 6 255

The pleasure, the pain

By BadBribe - 24/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 204

You deserved it 30 238

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Spicy

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 658

You deserved it 61 891

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Spicy

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 616

You deserved it 17 164

Next

Top comments

fmessiah 19

Monday 5 December 2011 8:38

Wipe up, and start again.

C19_fml 9

Monday 5 December 2011 8:36

Well, better luck next time haha!

Comments

alaskababy907 11

Monday 5 December 2011 9:43

I understand that it was your first one, so I'm not gonna judge. But every time I gave my ex a bj – who, btw, is very experienced – came as soon as I put him in my mouth :/ definitely not enjoyable.

ninjacapo 2

Monday 5 December 2011 23:02

Which is why hes ur ex

alaskababy907 11

Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:41

Exactly.

youshitme 9

Monday 5 December 2011 10:04

Loser.

anthonydude 9

Monday 5 December 2011 10:23

How does that happen?

cjhilde 1

Monday 5 December 2011 14:28

A ******* is when a girl sucks a guys dick...happens to guys who dont look like a fat 6th grader

jrock87 0

Monday 5 December 2011 10:26

blow up dolls don't count bro

toolmetal92 6

Monday 5 December 2011 10:28

My condolences....

sk8er1039 0

Monday 5 December 2011 10:35

Nice

Leftoverjello 6

Monday 5 December 2011 11:03

That's rough dude but it happens. Chin up and all that.

Ciara4757 16

Monday 5 December 2011 11:04

awwww poor guy.... at least u have somebody willing to give u a *******

Bofferding_fml 6

Monday 5 December 2011 11:10

Awww, headshot cumshot!

ellakacyme22 6

Monday 5 December 2011 11:15

so what is it you saw her **** and you went pop, there's always a next time

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