Transportation: Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was...

By Anonymous - 25/09/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was printed on it. Not two hours after getting it and putting my keys on it, I locked them in my car. I don't have a spare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 350

You deserved it 34 354

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Same thing different taste

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 110

You deserved it 3 177

By Anonymous - 25/05/2013 04:50 - United States - Clifton

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 602

You deserved it 18 325

Rush hour

By lateforwork - 02/09/2019 14:00

Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 20:50 - United States - Winsted

Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting 3 hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 17 912

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 401

By Smile - 27/11/2008 04:21 - France

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 473

You deserved it 31 424

By Anonymous - 12/11/2008 08:10 - France

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 943

You deserved it 11 418

By GOLLUM! - 18/05/2017 00:00

Today, after being without my car keys for two days, I finally got a locksmith to unlock my car on the off chance I'd left my keys in there. $170 later, the car was open, but I didn't find my keys. Frustrated, I threw the paperwork in the garbage... where I spotted my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 679

You deserved it 2 003

Stranded

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 942

You deserved it 3 668

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 2 982

takeapieandrun 9

Sunday 25 September 2011 12:31

Talk about irony...

kkmwong 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 12:34

Epic win for the lanyard.

Comments

Katuski 4

Sunday 25 September 2011 14:56

This is where AAA comes in to open the car door.

upyourzlolz 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:02

Great. Now get one that says: I'm going to get laid tonight. Trust me.

MandathePanda24 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:08

Failureee!!!!

upyourzlolz 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 16:05

Sorry, this isn't Super Smash Bros. I hope people get that joke.

YoNdO15 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:10

you set yourself up for failure

mario3584 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:24

I'm just stating the obvious but epic faillll

cupcakegirl93 8

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:30

Well then... I believe the appropriate thing to say to you right now Would be... EPIC FAIL!

FrogInTheShadows 15

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:35

You can't drive and have the lanyard around your neck. Too much distance is needed between the driver's neck and the steering wheel

daydreamer244 13

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:47

I guess it's time o get some more new car keys, but this time get a lanyard that says "don't lock me in the car."

s1d1ouz 2

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:47

Your life is an epic fail

Baagsbaseball 5

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:47

"hey, remember when you asked me the definition of irony?"

Keywords

Shopping Parenting Miscellaneous AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Social Media Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Relatable Housework Work Awkward Embarrassing Transportation Cars Sports Health Accident Mental health Annoying Family Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 832

You deserved it 225

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 718

The Top

Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 124

Today, my boyfriend of four years, who has never been anything but loving and supportive, told me after I made a joke that there has been “a change” in how he deals with people, that he has been “purging,” and that I could be next because he “has needs too.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 266

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 777

You deserved it 18 554

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 787

You deserved it 5 285

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 219

You deserved it 6 934

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 090

You deserved it 65 946

Same thing different taste

Rush hour

Stranded

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