Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick...

By blahblah - 27/06/2013 01:57 - United States - Richardson

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 416

You deserved it 35 741

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Same thing different taste

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 381

By Anonymous - 28/05/2011 00:56 - United States

Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 117

You deserved it 53 939

Lee Trevi-not

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 12:07

Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 1 524

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 794

You deserved it 81 434

By BadassNinja - 05/09/2009 16:22 - United States

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 51 112

Badass

By Drom - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, I pushed my spinning clothesline around and walked off like a badass. A loose wire then whipped around the back of my head and caught me in the eye. I'm just so badass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 565

You deserved it 3 845

By i see fat people - 07/12/2012 21:10 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 110

You deserved it 9 886

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 4 616

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 940

You deserved it 12 978

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 36 079

TwoXMike 14

Thursday 27 June 2013 11:12

Just remember grasshopper, Wax on, Wax off

HowAreYouToday 34

Thursday 27 June 2013 11:11

Just karate chop your neighbor.

Comments

darwinism 30

Thursday 27 June 2013 11:20

Go to your neighbours' house and round house the shit out of his living room. That will teach him to laughg at you!

44LynnLynn 23

Thursday 27 June 2013 11:20

I would recommend going to an actual dojo and not your house. The sensei will teach you how to do it correctly. Don't get yourself down though. I too do karate. When I first started it was hell. Keep practicing and soon you'll be able to kick ass instead of a lamp.

buckdharma 37

Thursday 27 June 2013 11:21

Just think op, your karate incapacitated him. Keep it up young fool.

Joe9024 20

Thursday 27 June 2013 11:35

Chuck Norris would be proud!! All that destruction from just one kick.

feelingold 18

Thursday 27 June 2013 14:27

yep he destroyed his lamp, his reputation and his self respect all in one go.

Mossears133 15

Thursday 27 June 2013 14:53

Agreed, it sounds like it was pretty roundhouse after all!

Whatapuffchild 23

Thursday 27 June 2013 11:39

atleast you tried

buddy51 23

Thursday 27 June 2013 12:05

....and totally failed!

Nordrag 26

Thursday 27 June 2013 12:16

Do or do not. There is no try.

RodzillaX 30

Thursday 27 June 2013 11:45

You must be the chosen one with those skills.

saIty 17

Thursday 27 June 2013 11:51

When you pay too much for cable, you feel powerless. When you feel powerless, you want to take the power back. When you want to take the power back, you take Karate. When you take Karate, you want to use your Karate. When you want to use your Karate, you become "The Fist of Goodness". When you become The Fist of Goodness, you run along rooftops. And when you run along roof tops, you fall into a dinner party. Don't fall into a dinner party.