Miscellaneous: Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I... - FML

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By FuckYou - 02/07/2012 06:07 - United States - Santa Maria

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 650

You deserved it 54 065

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Same thing different taste

Trashed

By Millie07 - 07/11/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 793

You deserved it 6 296

No yolk

By eggonmiface - 01/07/2018 15:00

Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 438

You deserved it 508

Caught in 4K

By BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 848

You deserved it 56 799

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 100

You deserved it 3 151

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 9 222

By whatgoesaround - 15/08/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 550

You deserved it 56 406

The Blob

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 17:02 - Germany

Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 288

By stairmaster - 05/04/2011 07:47

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 431

You deserved it 45 882

By JTinNJ - 27/08/2016 11:57 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 582

You deserved it 3 087

Next

Top comments

randomthing 22

Monday 2 July 2012 12:00

You definitely deserved it.

tswizz 13

Monday 2 July 2012 12:03

You were going to egg a house? How old are you? Twelve?

Comments

Fmlsea 28

Monday 2 July 2012 12:09

why bother doing that , he would screwed him self over eventually but instead karma chose to give you a lesson . a ex is a ex for a reason they stay in your past and you move on , not keep crap going YDI .

SovietBarney 8

Monday 2 July 2012 12:10

I guess you didn't eggsecute the plan like you wanted to.

Jordan740 6

Monday 2 July 2012 15:26

All of these puns are getting eggxtremely annoying.

Michael_92 20

Monday 2 July 2012 12:10

Anyone else wondering what the ex did?

celeste0125 0

Monday 2 July 2012 12:17

Yep

Crazberry 5

Monday 2 July 2012 12:24

Yeah, #9 :P

downtime 12

Tuesday 3 July 2012 4:35

I wouldn't be surprised if all he did was break up with her and start dating someone else. Or maybe he forgot her name during sex...

FYLDeep 25

Monday 2 July 2012 12:18

Derp.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Tuesday 3 July 2012 0:09

Shut the derp up.

JayRule28 0

Monday 2 July 2012 12:18

And so are you

KitGrey 4

Monday 2 July 2012 12:24

Ugh that is like the least original form of revenge. Fate is telling you to come up with somethung better.

KrayKrayGurl117 7

Monday 2 July 2012 12:28

Now you're going to get karma for your username

zandalee 19

Monday 2 July 2012 12:29

Egging his house is so old. If you do need revenge think carefully. Do something that will teach him a lesson privately and maturely. Karma is a bitch. What goes around comes around.

haj_fml 4

Monday 2 July 2012 12:29

Now he's your 'eggs-boyfriend'. Hur hur hur.

pinkdisco 3

Monday 2 July 2012 12:41

Lol yeah, karma is the bitch....

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 406

You deserved it 6 354

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 932

You deserved it 63 423

The Top

Today, I've been trying to find and revisit a song that my dad listened to all the time when I was a kid, and I finally found it. Except now I'm old enough to realize the lyrics are about a psychotic man who gets put in a "home" for things I cannot put in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 141

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 183

You deserved it 12 102

Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 560

You deserved it 3 049

This is the night, it's a beautiful night, and we call it bella notte...

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 104

Today, I went on a first date with an employee from Sobey's who asked for my number while I was grocery shopping. We decided to each bring a friend. I brought my roommate. He brought his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 247

You deserved it 3 968

Today, I told my family I’m pregnant again. My boyfriend is now sat outside, crying and getting drunk. My oldest son is looking at apartments for rent because he doesn’t want to be around screaming babies again, and my younger two are crying because they don’t want another sibling either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 1 748