Miscellaneous: Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I... - FML

By FuckYou - 02/07/2012 06:07 - United States - Santa Maria

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 649

You deserved it 54 052

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 791

You deserved it 6 277

No yolk

By eggonmiface - 01/07/2018 15:00

Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 437

You deserved it 505

Caught in 4K

By BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 848

You deserved it 56 784

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 094

You deserved it 3 149

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 404

You deserved it 9 219

By whatgoesaround - 15/08/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 548

You deserved it 56 401

The Blob

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 17:02 - Germany

Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 287

By stairmaster - 05/04/2011 07:47

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 427

You deserved it 45 876

By JTinNJ - 27/08/2016 11:57 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 577

You deserved it 3 079

By bit - 30/07/2009 10:01 - United States

Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 481

You deserved it 64 447

Next

Top comments

randomthing 22

Monday 2 July 2012 12:00

You definitely deserved it.

tswizz 13

Monday 2 July 2012 12:03

You were going to egg a house? How old are you? Twelve?

Comments

TarieBoo 2

Monday 2 July 2012 21:16

there are hungry children&adults and you were going to waste eggs on youre ex-boyfriends house?

snafu63 0

Monday 2 July 2012 21:29

abd definitely seem like a b*tch period. ydi

PoshLife_Cross 5

Monday 2 July 2012 21:47

Wait, I don't think karma is the bitch here.

PoshLife_Cross 5

Monday 2 July 2012 21:51

I'm sorry this is my second comment on this FML, but anyone else see all these egg puns and think Pokemon?

afropuffjake 9

Monday 2 July 2012 21:58

Isn't karma supposed to come around that deserves bad things to happen to them? If you're childish enough to egg someone's house I doubt the guy you dated even owns the house it's probably his parents which makes it even more ****** up to have wanted to egg their house. YDI

crazykid300 6

Monday 2 July 2012 22:10

Karma is a bitch well just make sure tht bitch is beautiful -Lil Wayne

Gdude98 0

Monday 2 July 2012 22:14

Karma's only a bitch if your a bitch

Flarfignewton 4

Monday 2 July 2012 22:42

Karma isn't a bitch. You are.

divs713 3

Monday 2 July 2012 22:57

No, you're the bitch here.

rebelliousshroom 12

Monday 2 July 2012 23:13

What bothers me the most about this is that you would waste perfectly good food on something else than eating it.

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Wanker Halloween Lonely Party Jealousy Love Argument Fight Family Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Anger issues Birds Weddings Pranks YouTube TikTok Dogs Cute Work AITA

The Top

Today, after my wife had been bleeding when we have sex, the doctors sent her to hospital. While she was there overnight, I decided to masturbate at home. Turns out it was me. I have blood in my semen and was shooting it into her during sex. Glad she’s OK, but what the hell is wrong with my balls? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 171

Today, I found my boyfriend browsing tablet PCs on the internet. He actually had a tablet until a while ago, but he hardly ever used it. He still has two smartphones, a desktop PC and a laptop he never uses. But yeah, sure, he needs a tablet. Because, "they're cheap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, my mom told me that I wasn't allowed rights until I was eighteen, or until I took on some duties. The rights include having or expressing ideals that don't match up with hers. She doesn't know what duties I should have. My options are to either take on nonexistent duties, or keep my mouth shut for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 205

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 87

Today, I was going to end a thing I had with this guy. It turned out that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and was just using me as a back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 095

You deserved it 4 108

Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 434

You deserved it 30 840

Today, I had to explain to one of my friends that the cap he likes to wear makes people look at us funny in public. He thinks it's just the White Sox logo. It's styled like the baseball team's logo, but it actually says "Sex". I had to show him both side by side for him to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 110

Today, I got stuck in my washing machine. When my sister saw me, she just left me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 835