Miscellaneous: Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I... - FML

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By FuckYou - 02/07/2012 06:07 - United States - Santa Maria

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 650

You deserved it 54 063

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Same thing different taste

Trashed

By Millie07 - 07/11/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 793

You deserved it 6 296

No yolk

By eggonmiface - 01/07/2018 15:00

Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 438

You deserved it 508

Caught in 4K

By BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 848

You deserved it 56 799

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 098

You deserved it 3 151

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 9 222

By whatgoesaround - 15/08/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 550

You deserved it 56 406

The Blob

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 17:02 - Germany

Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 288

By stairmaster - 05/04/2011 07:47

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 430

You deserved it 45 882

By JTinNJ - 27/08/2016 11:57 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 581

You deserved it 3 087

Next

Top comments

randomthing 22

Monday 2 July 2012 12:00

You definitely deserved it.

tswizz 13

Monday 2 July 2012 12:03

You were going to egg a house? How old are you? Twelve?

Comments

mrmerino 0

Monday 2 July 2012 12:44

Raise yourself above that crap. You aren't a little kid, throwing eggs at someone's house is not a very smart thing to do. If he screwed you over that badly, the best thing to do about it is to separate yourself from him and show that you can function without him.

hqbrat 8

Monday 2 July 2012 12:47

I'm afraid not even the egg puns will make the best comments

thiscrazything 1

Monday 2 July 2012 22:44

Eggsactly.

solosohigh 15

Monday 2 July 2012 12:55

stop wasting energy on him. holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Lolbunnycloud 5

Monday 2 July 2012 12:59

Fail

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 2 July 2012 15:26

Said the girl who typed "ur" instead of "your".

ManInTheMachine 19

Monday 2 July 2012 15:47

Oh God, this again. 'Oh em geez get off mah bak dis iznt a English class lolz'. The FML rules clearly state 'No TXT language allowed'. Besides, your comment wasn't any better than the person you replied under. I swear there should be a disclaimer about this so people can stop all the 'this isn't English class' bullshit.

Octwo 16

Monday 2 July 2012 17:37

People like 71 are why society is getting dumber. They think it's acceptable to type like a 'tard because it's apparently SO ******* hard to press two more letters on their keyboard. "THZ INT ENGLSH CLAS LAWL." Grow up kid. Stop setting a precedent that being an idiot is OK because you're not being graded or paid to not be one.

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 2 July 2012 17:55

Let's not get carried away. Just because they type that way doesn't make them a "tard" or an idiot. They just simply failed to follow the FML rules. I know a retired teacher who texts in TXT form. Doesn't make them any dumber.

XtraEzeee 8

Tuesday 3 July 2012 0:12

What's the point of English class if we aren't going to use what we learn?

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Tuesday 3 July 2012 9:18

Shut the **** up, please. It's getting old. Other than her typing "ur", her grammar and spelling seems pretty decent.

rexreta 5

Monday 2 July 2012 12:59

Is Karma the name of his new girlfriend too? ;P Total bitch indeed!

patrickalamo 47

Monday 2 July 2012 13:05

You are karma's bitch.

whostolemylama 12

Monday 2 July 2012 13:06

Bitches be crazy.

terrancemu 0

Monday 2 July 2012 13:25

Well, that's egg on your face!!! Anybody...? No....?

Zomg_Okay 26

Monday 2 July 2012 13:33

You're the bitch here, OP, not karma. You sound too young to be in a relationship in the first place.

lighthous3 4

Monday 2 July 2012 13:39

Karma's only a bitch if you are ;)

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