Health: Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 602

You deserved it 22 048

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Same thing different taste

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 538

You deserved it 10 689

By dawg3360 - 07/06/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 643

You deserved it 134 221

By Ciara - 11/06/2012 20:44 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 288

You deserved it 35 199

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 701

You deserved it 3 533

By Kurda - 23/05/2015 02:26 - United States - Wallburg

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 527

You deserved it 2 768

By Tickdick - 24/03/2017 21:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 329

You deserved it 561

By man-period? - 02/03/2016 06:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 442

You deserved it 1 633

The spirit of John Lennon

By Becks - 07/09/2020 23:01

Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 119

By inosehowthatgotthere - 10/02/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 357

You deserved it 52 595

Newbie

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 18:18 - Singapore

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 628

You deserved it 7 751

melliemoo17 6

Wednesday 21 March 2012 11:56

Wtf?!

Doortje 29

Wednesday 21 March 2012 11:59

Oh dear. You DO know you need to clean your dong, right?

Comments

pastnastificatio 4

Wednesday 21 March 2012 16:28

Is this the first thing you ever found in there, or just the first that bothered you?

tehzilla 12

Wednesday 21 March 2012 16:33

Sweet jesus, why?

random1st 2

Wednesday 21 March 2012 16:38

Learn to freaking shower you nasty ass

BunBunBabe 8

Wednesday 21 March 2012 16:44

At least you weren't like the FMLer a day ago, and you didn't EAT THE BUG when you found it thank god

LiiaaBee 21

Wednesday 21 March 2012 20:11

Doesn't say that he didn't eat it.

mythii 3

Wednesday 21 March 2012 16:53

That is sooooo ******* disgusting.

naduskalove 3

Wednesday 21 March 2012 16:59

Ouch ! How the **** is that happened ?! Hope u managed to get out , damn...

greeneye_fml 12

Wednesday 21 March 2012 17:05

That may be the best case for cicumcision ever.

turquoise07 1

Wednesday 21 March 2012 17:10

Circumcise! :) cleaner ;)

Incogneterpeter 1

Wednesday 21 March 2012 17:19

You should stop hiding food there then

ahabsfan 15

Wednesday 21 March 2012 17:22

Now that fly in my soup doesn't sound so bad.

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You deserved it 212

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You deserved it 3 134

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I agree, your life sucks 5 922

You deserved it 371

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You deserved it 331

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I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 1 414

Today, I wanted to believe that people couldn't possibly be this stupid, but prior to surgery my brother's wife was put on an all-liquid diet. The idiot didn’t realize that putting cake and ice cream in a blender didn’t make it a fucking clear liquid. She argued, “I’m not eating it, I’m drinking it!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 114

Same thing different taste

The spirit of John Lennon

Newbie

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