Intimacy: Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend...

By Dickhead - 25/11/2011 15:02 - Lebanon

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 62 302

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Same thing different taste

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 81

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 110

You deserved it 3 347

Busted

By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 791

You deserved it 121 739

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 818

You deserved it 4 673

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 10/08/2012 05:29 - Europe

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 735

You deserved it 18 268

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 481

You deserved it 11 456

By useyourownbed - 18/09/2012 20:06 - United States - Byron

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 896

You deserved it 2 493

Considerate

By BadLuckLad - 22/10/2014 22:38 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 370

You deserved it 3 856

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 446

You deserved it 42 535

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 503

You deserved it 46 398

indistructo 3

Friday 25 November 2011 18:59

you just got buuuuuuuuurrrrned! lol best joke ever

Glitterhinoceros 14

Friday 25 November 2011 19:02

It'd be really cool if you could fit your whole body into that be completely casual while talking to your girlfriend

Comments

21jason 9

Friday 25 November 2011 19:16

Ahahahaha your gf is awesome.. But u sir sound like a dick

cntryiscntrywide 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:18

put dog food in her dinner, since yur being a bitch might as well treat yu like one.

upyourzlolz 11

Friday 25 November 2011 19:23

Wow! You should be honored! She goes out of her way to buy condoms for you! That's a such a caring girl! Haha no.

bryanismad 3

Friday 25 November 2011 19:25

Epic win 20x

upyourzlolz 11

Friday 25 November 2011 23:08

Comment fail x 20

scoop15928 4

Friday 25 November 2011 19:25

Bring a dog costume to her door and say "since your being a bitch, you may as well dress like one".

cntryiscntrywide 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:28

if only this were 8 comments earlier....

scoop15928 4

Friday 25 November 2011 19:37

What are you talking about, I don't see any other comments about that before mine. Where?

Aspen_Grace33 27

Friday 25 November 2011 20:24

Haha love it!

cntryiscntrywide 0

Friday 25 November 2011 20:25

they moderated my comment >:'( I made a dog food one.

Feklfekl2222 32

Friday 25 November 2011 20:56

There's one about putting dog food in their dinner so they're fed like a bitch.

scoop15928 4

Friday 25 November 2011 21:20

Yea I see it now but it was moderated before.

TheNewGuy03 28

Monday 18 July 2016 8:53

...and thus, the Insult Wars begin.

fencer310 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:29

**** her best friend with the condom and leave it w/ a note that says "at least this dick still gets pussy."

Fylminesawsome 5

Friday 25 November 2011 19:31

Use it on her.

freakizoid_fml 5

Friday 25 November 2011 19:33

Did anyone see op's name?

luckyducky_7sq 10

Saturday 26 November 2011 2:34

I believe it's pronounced "Dah-KEED"

mrsvickybear 9

Friday 25 November 2011 19:41

******* AWESOME HAHAHA YDI

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 25 November 2011 19:45

Go commando.

Keywords

Management Work Awkward Embarrassing Love First Dates Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Students Confused Relationship advice Lonely Break-ups Family Cute My ex Sex Intimacy Housework LGBTQIA+ Parents Smoking Kids Abuse Birthday Technology Geek Cars

The Top

Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 90

Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 184

The Top

Today, I was driving in my very own car that I bought and paid for myself, when I stopped at a stop light. Then I noticed the truck in front of me turn on his reverse lights. I honked desperately. He hits me, looks out the window and says, "I see no damage" and drives away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 450

You deserved it 3 736

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 935

You deserved it 3 025

Today, my violin broke and I have a recital coming up. I gave it to my friend to give it to the luthier and the luthier has fixed it. I asked my friend to return it to me and they became angry I was asking for too many favours. My recital is tomorrow and I can't get my hands on a violin for at least another week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 247

Today, my girlfriend found the airtag I'd stuck under her car. The police were called and she kicked me out of her apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 2 712

Today, I had an important test at 7 in the morning, so I sat the alarm at 6 o'clock and fell asleep. Later I was woken up by a call from my friend asking me why I didn't show up for the test. It was 9:30. I'd sat the alarm at 6:00 PM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 556

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 357

You deserved it 2 525

Same thing different taste

Carrier pigeon

Busted

Noise annoys

Considerate

Gettin' some

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