Intimacy: Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend...

By Dickhead - 25/11/2011 15:02 - Lebanon

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 62 302

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Same thing different taste

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 81

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 110

You deserved it 3 347

Busted

By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 791

You deserved it 121 739

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 818

You deserved it 4 673

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 10/08/2012 05:29 - Europe

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 735

You deserved it 18 268

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 481

You deserved it 11 456

By useyourownbed - 18/09/2012 20:06 - United States - Byron

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 896

You deserved it 2 493

Considerate

By BadLuckLad - 22/10/2014 22:38 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 370

You deserved it 3 856

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 446

You deserved it 42 535

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 503

You deserved it 46 398

indistructo 3

Friday 25 November 2011 18:59

you just got buuuuuuuuurrrrned! lol best joke ever

Glitterhinoceros 14

Friday 25 November 2011 19:02

It'd be really cool if you could fit your whole body into that be completely casual while talking to your girlfriend

Comments

idl3mind 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:59

Clever

Poetaster 10

Friday 25 November 2011 20:10

Nice communication skills your girlfriend has. Perhaps this is her way if initiating foreplay?

JinxosGirl87 0

Friday 25 November 2011 20:23

Reminds me of The Naked Gun when the main characters dressed as condoms during their love scene.

TypicalTroll 0

Friday 25 November 2011 20:26

I have an idea for my next Halloween costume.

Spazz420 7

Friday 25 November 2011 20:36

Take the hint or she will be dressing other guys dicks in those condoms!!

OfficeNinja 5

Friday 25 November 2011 20:38

Tell your girlfriend I love her. And I don't act like a dick.

Meme1988 18

Friday 25 November 2011 20:40

Ydi!

capricorngyrl 0

Friday 25 November 2011 20:49

Lol.

capricorngyrl 0

Friday 25 November 2011 20:50

Lol.

toricakes 7

Friday 25 November 2011 21:07

You should get a body sized condom

Keywords

Management Work Awkward Embarrassing Love First Dates Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Students Confused Relationship advice Lonely Break-ups Family Cute My ex Sex Intimacy Housework LGBTQIA+ Parents Smoking Kids Abuse Birthday Technology Geek Cars

The Top

Today, I literally caught my husband with his prick in another woman’s mouth and he had the nerve, the actual nerve, to tell me, "It’s not what it looks like, babe", all while trying to stuff his lipstick-coated knob back in his pants. CRETIN. IDIOT. CHEATING SCUM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 175

Today, while I was taking a test in class, there was a question that had everyone stumped. After what seemed like forever, the teacher finally noticed and said he'd typed the question wrong. I spent more than half the time I had to complete the test on a question that wasn't even written correctly. Yes, I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 431

The Top

Today, I went out to eat with a friend. I was supposed to be paying, but when I tried to, there wasn't enough money in my bank account. She didn't have money with her either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 679

Today, my boyfriend sent me a video of him having sex with someone from one of his last relationships because he thought it would turn me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 503

You deserved it 5 666

Today, I found out I have an abscess in my bellybutton which causes me extreme pain and discomfort when I sit down. I am a receptionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 148

You deserved it 2 670

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 901

You deserved it 4 616

Today, I set aside an entire week off to watch my parents' house while they went on vacation. I'd only just got here and they'd barely left when the hospital called. My drunk uncle died from a concussion, so my parents cancelled everything. I feel bad for my aunt, but my boss knows where I live, and my dad's an ass. I'm trapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 84

Today, I witnessed a homeless man fall off of his bike and land face first onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather, I gave him the coat off of my back. He got up like nothing happened and sprinted away with it. Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 886

You deserved it 33 967