Intimacy: Today, I found out my girlfriend is a full-on, wants-to-be-banged-by-a-horse...

At least she doesn't want you to wear a ski mask and bang her while she resists. That girl was trying to trick me into a legal situation. sneaky... verrry sneaky

SadFox 16

Monday 14 December 2015 4:55

Dump her ass man. Anyone like that is not worth keeping, that's like "ascended" level ****** up.

Spencer_40 14

Monday 14 December 2015 5:34

I would say "bye you discusting peice of shit"

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The Top

Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 183

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 671

You deserved it 39 754

The Top

Today, a customer became irrationally angry and called me a "stupid bitch", all because she couldn't use the coupon clearly marked "30% off grocery items" on a prescription from our pharmacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 756

You deserved it 424

Today, I’m coming to accept that my wife’s relationship with her phone and her social media is deeper and more intimate than it will ever be with me. I can’t afford to leave her, her sister's a lawyer, she’ll take everything I still love in the divorce. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 138

Today, I was told I'm lazy by my boyfriend because I skipped work. He skips his all the time and when I get home still have to cook and clean up after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 300

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 782

You deserved it 4 478

Today, my wife and I are about to move across the country when the landlord for our new house called and said a water line busted and flooded the house. The movers are coming tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 934

You deserved it 2 147

Today, I've had more crushes on fictional characters than actual people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 412

You deserved it 2 597