Health: Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second...

By Anonymous - 20/09/2011 23:54 - United States

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 210

You deserved it 2 697

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Deez Nuts

By ALittleLighter - 14/09/2021 05:00

Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 75

By Anonymous - 21/02/2011 03:28 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 371

You deserved it 5 002

Unusual diagnosis method

By Anonymous - 08/08/2022 16:00

Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 129

By Leashaness - 15/09/2012 11:07 - United States

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 353

You deserved it 2 757

By Lara - 08/01/2016 11:28 - Germany - Bremen

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 414

You deserved it 8 357

By BadKneeBackAndSinuses - 23/09/2018 15:30

Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 827

You deserved it 148

Thanks for the miracle

By howinthenameofholyfuck?! - 16/07/2020 17:01

Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 230

You deserved it 631

By Anonymous - 10/08/2016 14:10 - Serbia - Pancevo

Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 904

You deserved it 1 405

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 851

You deserved it 356

IntoTheClouds 42

Wednesday 21 September 2011 5:38

Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.

josebeto1 6

Wednesday 21 September 2011 5:38

****** up bro, hope you don't lose it

Comments

EdwardJayms 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 8:08

Damn dude, sorry to hear about the cancer but that joke was probably just an attempt to lift the mood a bit...

clewie 8

Wednesday 21 September 2011 8:22

That's a horrible thing to say, but I'd rather be the opposite sex than be dead... Just sayin.

brittneymae 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 8:23

Those who said you deserve this are truly horrible beings. I am so sorry this is happening to you.

ELJerrado 6

Wednesday 21 September 2011 8:26

Look on the bright side. At least you can't get testicular cancer again

R4P3DwithALOHA 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 8:46

Srry dude I'm gunn pray 4 u. OP

ipusstroll 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 8:49

I feel sorry for u

callae 7

Wednesday 21 September 2011 8:49

Balls are repulsive anyway.

SpruceDread4578 13

Wednesday 21 September 2011 8:50

I hope this doesn't sound too terrible, but I guess now if you have a one night stand you have nothing to worry about? Just a small joke. Really hope you pull through though, I mean, it's terrible you have cancer and I can understand the pain you are going through. Try to see what they can do so you can keep your remaining ********. Oh, **** your doctor.

hawkhez01 13

Wednesday 21 September 2011 8:51

How the hell can that many people think he 'deserves' it! Cancer is in no way his fault, let alone the second time!

allforus 5

Wednesday 21 September 2011 11:08

Some people are insensitive pieces of shit. And when something bad like this happens to them, they'll wonder why they don't have more people supporting them.