By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 01:11 - United States

Spicy
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks 77 399
You deserved it 4 165
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saveyourcoat 0

I made this account just to ask you to try to save your cat...

42 0
ohthebloodygore 16

33, is that why your account is named 'saveyourcoat'?

17 4
Sparkadelic 4

Oh! You're good!

1 1
unidentified_sta 5

Was "saveyourcat" taken or does stylin' take priority over cats?

10 1
willielikesmonke 0

sue his ass for traumatizing the cat! he'll never be the same kitty again I tell you! oh boowhoo! woe is me....

0 0
Phoenix1023 3

too bad your name says coat

1 3
perdix 29

So, the pussy who defended your pussy has to die and you feel like you need to pay for your pussy's heroic act? I think you, sir, are the biggest pussy in the story.

8 18
pitineo_fml 0

you don't get it : his friend is sueing him and the law requires euthanasia for the cat and repaiment of physical damages.

6 0
perdix 29

You're not from around here, are ya? Here in Texas, if a man is ******* your wife in your house, his balls have no legal protection from any harm inflicted upon them by any mammal. Look it up. It's not in the Texas Penal Code -- it's in the Texas Penile Code.

8 5
PrincessNothing 0

Oh the irony. "Here, I came into your home, betrayed your trust, slept with your wife, and probably scared the living daylights out of your cat in the process. Because he attacked me, thus killing the mood and damaging the goods defiling your wife and trust I'm going to sue you for damages and have your cat killed. Sorry friend. :) "

11 0
therealsuperman 0

your cat is a hero and you sarcastically call it a genius? and you're going to have it killed? everyone in this story except the cat deserves to be castrated

4 12
Lizz7 0

I also think it wasn't sarcastic, but I do appreciate the bit about having everyone castrated. Except maybe OP and of course the kitty. >^.^

4 0
NostalgiaFreak9 41

Some states have laws where if an animal attacks a person, it has to be put down, which is stupid, because the asshole was ******* OP's wife and the cat gave him what he deserved. OP's also shouldn't have to pay for that asshole's medical bills too.

1 0
amayaa_fml 7

since you're married, she could pay for it, she's the one who uses them

13 1
zoone_fml 1

she`s probably the one that wanted the cat in the first place(be funny as hell if it was)

5 0
notsoluckypup 12

News Headline of the Day: Hero Cat Dies For Attacking The Wrong (But Right) Guys Testicles. Details Below... Poor cat and poor you ... me sowwy, OP :(

11 0
dudeitsdanny 9

I kind of hope that you don't write these for a living..

8 0
numnut 3

brilliant.. sorry about your cat though.... you should put it on "animal Miracles"

6 0
Zebidee 8

I'd make him take me to court for the expenses, not to fight it, but just to have him stand up in a room full of people and tell that story out loud.

27 0
perdix 29

I'm sure your cat was alarmed (and your wife was amazed) by the appearance of a decent pair of balls at your house after being subjected for all these years to your tiny pair of undescended wrinkly raisins.

8 19
lil_miss_piss 2

Ball size has no relevance to the size of the dick, and the dick is the part that matters of the two fyi. Every single one of your posts make you sound like a completely chauvinistic prick (pun intended). I bet my balls are still bigger than yours honey, because if what you say is correct, you don't have any AND you're the biggest dick in Texas.

6 1