Miscellaneous: Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day...

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 674

You deserved it 8 088

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 137

You deserved it 35 985

By Anonymous - 09/08/2013 23:29 - Switzerland

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 7 812

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 13:54 - Greece - Athens

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 300

You deserved it 5 724

By Poser - 20/12/2009 04:24 - Canada

Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 228

You deserved it 46 165

Caught in 4K

By reptar2009 - 02/12/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 424

You deserved it 87 572

No smoking

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 20:03

Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 266

By Joe - 04/08/2011 18:28 - United States

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 802

You deserved it 126 078

Some people just don't like surprises

By alone and horny - 20/06/2020 20:01

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 1 719

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 04:07 - United States - Mccomb

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 180

You deserved it 3 527

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 339

You deserved it 1 050

LiveLaughFML 10

Sunday 2 October 2011 2:21

it's like being nice to the weird kid and then BOOM stalked for life!

hellojpg 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 2:20

Smoking killss

Comments

arrowshockey18 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:19

I'd never give away my cigarettes. **** that

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:40

You're 15, you will if you want to live past 25.

arrowshockey18 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:47

Only live once, might as well have fun.

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:54

You sound like my coworker. He's 26, weighs like 110, been smoking for years and his teeth are ****** up.

arrowshockey18 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 7:48

Come slap me ****

illmatic2 16

Sunday 2 October 2011 7:52

86: Why do you want him to slap your cut?

arrowshockey18 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 7:54

Uhm two total different words...

illmatic2 16

Sunday 2 October 2011 7:55

********

mikeeg 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 8:06

Smokings gross...who smokes anymore...

belkinbra 12

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:23

Smole weed not cigarettes. YDI

belkinbra 12

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:25

*Smoke*

illmatic2 16

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:28

Or you can just not smoke at all.

marpay 11

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:19

Weed is expensive and does nothing for me. I'll stick to my e-cigs. None of the chemicals all of the nicotine.

arrowshockey18 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 7:53

TheIslands a pussy

ms_YoungMula 8

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:24

Lol you def living in a major city, cus that's were you only experience crazy shit like that

Bieberlover1oa2 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:32

Thats what you get foe giving a manna cigerette

BronyVasNormandy 12

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:39

Can't tell if trolling, or illiterate. Probably illiterate, taking the name "BieberLover" into account.

grattow96 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:42

Maybe he likes you

Btreasure 8

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:43

Well I personally think you deserved it because you never said you told him to go away. If someone following me I'd have bust a couple if caps.

marpay 11

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:21

Make sure you use the kill shot while you bust them caps.

PinkFun1969 9

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:46

nothing like a bud between friends. ;-)

Sienna420 4

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:20

Do weed instead.

stoneywoney 3

Sunday 2 October 2011 22:32

Too expensive. Trust meh!! ;)

jacob2raider 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 5:01

Ha I moderated this one

THE_A_TEEN 27

Sunday 2 October 2011 5:02

I find it hilarious when there is a smoking fml and there are people insulting the op for smoking cigs. like some self-rightious freaks, while theres a weed fml which dishes out all these supporters. HAR DEE ******* HAR HAR.