Miscellaneous: Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day...

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 678

You deserved it 8 089

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Same thing different taste

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 35 990

By Anonymous - 09/08/2013 23:29 - Switzerland

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 511

You deserved it 7 813

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 13:54 - Greece - Athens

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 5 724

By Poser - 20/12/2009 04:24 - Canada

Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 228

You deserved it 46 169

Caught in 4K

By reptar2009 - 02/12/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 425

You deserved it 87 579

No smoking

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 20:03

Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 283

By Joe - 04/08/2011 18:28 - United States

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 803

You deserved it 126 086

Some people just don't like surprises

By alone and horny - 20/06/2020 20:01

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 1 727

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 04:07 - United States - Mccomb

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 180

You deserved it 3 528

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 340

You deserved it 1 050

LiveLaughFML 10

Sunday 2 October 2011 2:21

it's like being nice to the weird kid and then BOOM stalked for life!

hellojpg 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 2:20

Smoking killss

Comments

arrowshockey18 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:19

I'd never give away my cigarettes. **** that

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:40

You're 15, you will if you want to live past 25.

arrowshockey18 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:47

Only live once, might as well have fun.

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:54

You sound like my coworker. He's 26, weighs like 110, been smoking for years and his teeth are ****** up.

arrowshockey18 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 7:48

Come slap me ****

illmatic2 16

Sunday 2 October 2011 7:52

86: Why do you want him to slap your cut?

arrowshockey18 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 7:54

Uhm two total different words...

illmatic2 16

Sunday 2 October 2011 7:55

********

mikeeg 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 8:06

Smokings gross...who smokes anymore...

belkinbra 12

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:23

Smole weed not cigarettes. YDI

belkinbra 12

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:25

*Smoke*

illmatic2 16

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:28

Or you can just not smoke at all.

marpay 11

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:19

Weed is expensive and does nothing for me. I'll stick to my e-cigs. None of the chemicals all of the nicotine.

arrowshockey18 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 7:53

TheIslands a pussy

ms_YoungMula 8

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:24

Lol you def living in a major city, cus that's were you only experience crazy shit like that

Bieberlover1oa2 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:32

Thats what you get foe giving a manna cigerette

BronyVasNormandy 12

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:39

Can't tell if trolling, or illiterate. Probably illiterate, taking the name "BieberLover" into account.

grattow96 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:42

Maybe he likes you

Btreasure 8

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:43

Well I personally think you deserved it because you never said you told him to go away. If someone following me I'd have bust a couple if caps.

marpay 11

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:21

Make sure you use the kill shot while you bust them caps.

PinkFun1969 9

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:46

nothing like a bud between friends. ;-)

Sienna420 4

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:20

Do weed instead.

stoneywoney 3

Sunday 2 October 2011 22:32

Too expensive. Trust meh!! ;)

jacob2raider 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 5:01

Ha I moderated this one

THE_A_TEEN 27

Sunday 2 October 2011 5:02

I find it hilarious when there is a smoking fml and there are people insulting the op for smoking cigs. like some self-rightious freaks, while theres a weed fml which dishes out all these supporters. HAR DEE ******* HAR HAR.