Miscellaneous: Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking,...

By spekledworf - 02/05/2011 21:30 - United States

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 291

You deserved it 26 518

spekledworf tells us more.

spekledworf 18

Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:25

i had a panic attack and started to stutter out of nervousness, and just said **** it and gave up

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

xviem 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 1:03

that's what you get for being a dumb ass

Katie_the_Great 6

Tuesday 3 May 2011 1:03

You sir... Fail

Comments

triggerit 5

Tuesday 3 May 2011 1:57

you are permanently drunk but think you are sober

every1luvsvag 10

Tuesday 3 May 2011 1:57

I love what you did with Bin Laden.

sarahhsmiless 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 1:58

how do you even do that?...haha

thekrammer 5

Tuesday 3 May 2011 2:01

fail!

annagurl7854 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 2:04

ahahha im not gunna lie i cant do the alphabett backward eitherr .!

CateXOX 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 2:37

Why do so many people think it says backwards?

rosikiya 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 2:04

You forgot the alphabet...crazy.

Muffin_Tops_fml 2

Tuesday 3 May 2011 2:07

this is why i want to be a cop.

DavLynn 4

Tuesday 3 May 2011 2:07

what?! where'd Justin bieber go? :(

brandiii13 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 2:08

hahahah reading this, just made my night!

FuckkYourrLifee2 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 2:11

how do you not know the alphabet ? like really ...

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 121

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 697

The Top

Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 064

You deserved it 1 664

Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 109

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 171

You deserved it 2 427

Today, I found out I can’t get in-state tuition at my college, all because I’m under 24 and considered a "dependent" student; therefore my parents must prove state residency on my behalf. I lost both my parents to COVID last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 98

Today, I'm single, as all the girls I’ve ever liked are either taken or hate my guts, and even if you don’t tell her, another girl would feel it, as if she’s a fifth choice at best, and might not like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 869

Today, I got a call from my bank, saying that the cheque I deposited in my account bounced and my account is now -$2900. The cheque was from a work-at-home company, who asked me to deposit the cheque, then send them some of the money through Cash App to buy office supplies. They won’t answer their e-mails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 2 821