Intimacy: Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would...

By BeboKhaos - 04/08/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 784

You deserved it 9 517

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 011

You deserved it 1 791

By fuck - 24/07/2015 16:44 - Canada - Cowansville

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 3 128

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 162

You deserved it 5 569

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 709

You deserved it 18 568

The pleasure, the pain

By BadBribe - 24/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 190

You deserved it 30 213

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 424

You deserved it 49 349

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 039

You deserved it 6 802

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 615

You deserved it 91 024

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 242

You deserved it 2 963

By kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 498

You deserved it 36 513

dandymidori 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 9:21

OUCH D: I hope your spermcount is still okay!

GreenDaysGeekGrl 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 9:21

Wow. Haha.

Comments

madlogik 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 22:43

next up, shes gonna stick her index up ur ass. lol! fyl

goodlookinat15 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 23:27

ow ow ow ow owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

gigyfly 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 0:13

Well was it good for u

Whatthehell101 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 0:56

Wow i cant stop laughing at this shit! yeah its mean but hell isnt that why someone made this website! This is the funniest FML everrr

AlexV_fml 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 1:02

no man deserves that

FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29

Wednesday 5 August 2009 1:13

th...that's...terrible...

benchmetal 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 1:34

You're balls just got pwned.

alex1981_fml 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 3:41

Well at least you'll never forget your first ********.

Meh546 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 4:40

Wow dude. That really, really sucks.

Meh546 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 4:49

You're barely out of high school, and yet you're acting as if you're 50, and have been in love with someone for 20 years, married, and have kids with them. Who are you to say that fourteen year olds can't be in love? Yes, people who say, to an entire world on the internet, 'I love my gf/bf soooo much and it's soooo amazing that we've had sex already!' is immature, and yes, it is harder for people at that age to fall in love, but it's not impossible. Having sex is a big decision and a very mature one, and it's good that you waited until you're out of high school, but love and sex don't exactly equal each other.