By BeboKhaos - 04/08/2009 02:37 - United States

Spicy
Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML
I agree, your life sucks 65 784
You deserved it 9 517
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

dandymidori 0

OUCH D: I hope your spermcount is still okay!

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Comments

uthinkurhot 0

lmfao!! im sorry but when i read that i literally was like laughinn

0 3
obedkhaos 0

hahahah.wow. it made it.! :D well i submitted it. it's about my friend tho. he's 14. i can't believe it was tht obvious. well yeah.it made it. :DD

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Maddoctor 10

Wow, I've never seen the OP comment their own FML. You have balls dude, hope you don't get too much crap from other people.

1 0
boatkicker 4

That wasn't really the OP. if it was they would first of all have the same username and they would also have a little badge underneith the *thumbs up* and *thumbs down* buttons.

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obedkhaos 0

@165 haha.you don;t think it;s me.? ): http://i26.tinypic.com/zvwt4h.jpg

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Maddoctor 10

Boatkicker, you do know that you make up a name when you submit FMLs, right? It's different from your FML account username.

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boatkicker 4

It's only different from your account username if you're not logged in when you submit it. otherwise it automatically puts it as your username. I suppose its possible for the FML to have been submitted by the same person who at the time was not logged in and therefore they dont have the little badge thing. However I'm still going to say no, its probably not the OP.

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obedkhaos 0

@boatkicker :( well i did submit it. i didn't make an Fml account till after. i wanted to comment and didn;t know i needed one. but ohkay.

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netbeui435 3

speed nuts? hilarious! at least you're getting some action.

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bryster126 0

lollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollol

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plexico 3

Maybe she is a female boxer and your scrotum (technical term for "ball sack") looked like the speed bag. You are lucky to have found a girl that actually pays attention to your balls at all. Almost all girls just work the dick, and let's face it, we're so happy to have them there that we dare not criticize. You've got to let her know that she has to ease off on them. If you can get her to do it right, it can be exceptionally wonderful! At moments like those is when you realize how ironic it is that "balls" represent "courage," when the are probably the weakest and most vulnerable part of a man's body.

1 1
boatkicker 4

Oddly enough yesterday I was having a conversation about balls being courage just yesterday. The most vulnerable part of a man represents courage and one of the strongest parts of a woman represents weakness. Pussy- strongest in terms of thats where we give birth, and that takes both strength, courage, and causes much pain. lol. It's kinda backwards. They should have chosen different body parts for both terms

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plexico 3

Talk about bizarrely backwards language, look at the bad things we associate with dogs even though they are the most lovable pets. I have two wonderful, beautiful bitches. See how odd that sounds.

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ohnoyouDINT 0

wtf kind of **** has she been watching? That kind of behavior deserves a swift kick to the ****.

1 5
ohnoyouDINT 0

In general response to the "hey, you're lucky to be getting a BJ" crowd: Douches. You might not realize it at the age of 15, but getting a ******* is not the pinnacle of human achievement. It's also not that difficult an accomplishment, unless you're a complete bed-wetting loser with no self-esteem. Look, you all want to be modern men, hip to gender equality and whatnot, right? Then respect womens' right to have every opportunity that a man has - including the opportunity to have one's teeth kicked out in retaliation to an incredibly stupid move like slapping someone in the balls.

1 5
Sugar_lipsXo 0

You have to be one of the ugliest people alive. It was most likely her first time giving a ********, and although I frown upon that behavior, she probably didn't know what she was doing and therefore should be forgiven for slapping his balls around. (Also, I highly doubt she was slapping them around. The OP probably stretched the truth so he could go post the story on FML.) I think someone should kick YOUR teeth out the next time you open your mouth. Loser.

1 1
thaShit 0

Women can't really comprehend the pain of a well placed nutshot unless they have at one point or another experienced child birth, while you are on fire and all of your limbs are being gnawed off by bird spiders. You're obviously a teenager, nobody has great sex as a teenager. Half the time it's like an incoherent mess. You'll live, but you definitely don't deserve getting slapped in the nuts.

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adelaide_evening 0

Right, because getting hit in the nuts and child birth are in the same ball park. You know, I think there's something about pushing a bowling ball out of your ****** that might be SLIGHTLY more painful than getting hit in the balls.

3 1
mike1921 0

agreed with ade, really nutshots hurt like hell but not that bad -_-

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Chocolate_Chunk 2

Well, I dunno. Ever noticed how incredibly whiney women are? They become a crying mess just for stubbing their toe on a table and exagerate every little bit of pain - so why should we really trust them if they tell us that child birth is oh-so-painful?

1 1
Jennypwnsall 1

Bro, Child-Birth is like trying to pull a basketball through a Golf-hole. Not all Women cant take pain, Some like it.

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Qup 0

next time you're playing with her *******, pinch her nips way too hard.

0 2